The Oak Room
by RosaLise
Summary: This is when Therese enters the Oak Room. Not sure to go down the movie route or the book so will see as I go!
1. Chapter 1

Therese stood there and stared at Carol. Every memory, every touch, kiss; it all came flooding back as if she was being hit by a wave. Stunned she stopped in the middle of the room, just taking in the features of the women's face. How could she have said 'no' to her? This perfect, mystical beauty, who was unique in every way. Her heart began to beat fast as she watched Carol smile at something one of her guests had said, in only the way Carol could smile.

The numbness that had momentary taken over her body began to ease and Therese felt her feet act on their own accord, as if drawn by a magnetic force, they moved her forward to the table where Carol sat. Therese, unable to take in the busy room kept her eyes fixed on the woman. She stopped about a foot from the table and Carol looked up, looked up straight into her eyes. Joy lept into Therese's heart like never before, spreading to every inch of her body sending a warm excitement through her.

"Madam" came a huffing voice behind Therese that made her jump "I must insist on seeing a reservation."

Therese broke the gaze with Carol and turned to the speaker. He was the man at the door who Therese had ignored and walked past. His face was red and round and he was giving her a disapproving look

"I…I-" started Therese, but she was cut short.

"She is with us," replied Carol, a cold look appearing in her usually warm eyes as she addressed the concierge . "Now if you could draw up a chair for her, she wouldn't be standing."

Therese felt a jolt in her stomach. Just the sound of Carol's voice could have this effect on her. The concierge turned to Carol and seemed to tremble under the look she was giving him, his tone changed abruptly. "Yes, of course Madam, my mistake, I thought…well no matter. Here." And he pulled a chair forwards and set it at the table. "Can I get you anything else?" He added looking at Carol as if desperate to seek her approval.

"A large glass of the picpoul de pinet will suffice."

"Of course, I will see to that immediately" He said with a little bow and bustled off.

Carol turned her attention back to Therese.

"Take a seat?" She said, a hint of hesitation in her voice, something that Therese was unused to hearing.

Adverting her eyes away from the power of Carol's, Therese sat and looked instead at the guests before her.

"Therese, allow me to introduce you to George Kidston, Linda Wood and Alan Finlay," said Carol gesturing to each of her guests as Therese shook their hands.

"And this is Therese Belivet."

"Charmed," smiled Alan, his hand lingering on Therese's a few seconds more than was perhaps necessary.

"Your wine," said a waiter, placing a large glass of white before Therese.

"Thank you," she replied in a whisper, before taking a large sip.

"So Therese," said Alan, saying her name slowly "how do ya know Carol here?" he asked patting Carol on the back.

Therese turned to look at Carol, and was startled to see Carol was staring intently at her. A questioning look in her eyes.

"Oh you know, the usual way..." Therese replied in the most nonchalant fashion she could muster. She deliberately did not look at Carol.

"That is ambivalent," laughed Alan, taking a large slug of wine.

"I guess it's hard to remember when you meet certain people," lied Therese, who couldn't help but smile at the absurdity of what she was saying. Like she could ever forget the day she met Carol. She thoroughly doubted even if she had serve amnesia she would forget, it was so deeply entrenched in her memory as if it were a part of her.

"Well," he continued leaning forward "I don't think I will forget meeting you." He winked at her. Therese, feeling slightly shocked, looked down and took a deep drink from her glass.

Oh, how she wanted to be out of here and be alone with Carol. To hold Carol, to hear her speak, to just look at her in peace and quiet. But what if Carol didn't want that? What if Carol had changed her mind? What if she was so angry with her, that she would no longer want to be with her? The thought of this made Therese's heart sink rapidly. She chanced a glance at Carol. Carol's eyes were fixed on Therese in a deeper that deep look that made the butterflies flutter into life in Therese's stomach, she blushed and looked away, feeling the heat rise in her cheeks.

Carol then engaged Alan in conversation, which was a relief because Therese could sit there and just watch Carol. She drank and listened to the melodious tone of Carols voice feeling a wave of bliss sweep over her. It just felt right being near her, to hear her was such a pleasure she could happily sit there all evening listening to Carol talk. Besides, maybe this was the last time she would hear Carol speak. She must savour every minute of this. She drained the rest of her drink and set the empty glass on the table. As if this were a cue for something Carol stood up.

"Well this has been a pleasure, but I really must get going, I'm exhausted," said Carol looking first at her guests and then at Therese.

"Aww that's a pity but Therese, you'll stay?" asked Alan with what he must have thought was an alluring smile.

"Uh no, thank you though, I…I should get going as well."

"I'll give you a lift." Said Carol simply.

"That would be…lovely" replied Therese. She shook hands with the guests and followed Carol out the room, down the stairs and out the door, not saying a word to her the whole time.

"You really don't have to give me a lift you know." Said Therese, as the stepped out to a cold breeze a gentle drizzle of rain in the air. Therese looked down at the grey pavement miserably. This was it. This was the last time she would see Carol. Carol was taking her home, she was being kind but that was all it was, she was taking her home and would leave her there, alone.

"Do you not want a lift?" Carol asked, one eye brow raised.

"No I would, I just, don't want to inconvenience you."

Carol touched her lightly on the wrist so that Therese looked up at her. You have never inconvenienced me once." The force of the gaze that Carol was giving her was making Therese light headed and giddy.

"Now come on, get in."

Carol held open the door for Therese, who obliged and entered, her heart beating fast….


	2. Chapter 2

Therese sat there, in the passenger seat, her palms sweating. How did Carol always seem so calm and collect? Carol got into the driver's seat and without looking at her or saying a word put the key into the ignition, setting the car's engine into life. Carol looked to her right and pulled out onto the busy street, her elegant hand moving across the wheel with such fluidity, it was as if she were conducting a symphony.

Therese sighed and looked out the window, a sense of panic growing inside her now as she watched the buildings and people rush by her as the car picked up speed. Then Carol broke the silence.

"Would you like to see my flat or are you in a rush to get home?" She asked it as if she didn't mind what the answer was.

Was she just being polite in asking Therese back to her apartment? Or did she actually want her to come? Therese hesitated.

"Well?" pressed Carol, her eyes glued ahead of her, not even sparing Therese the smallest of glances.

"I'm in no particular rush to get back," answered Therese, a lot more coolly than she felt as her heart had picked up speed again.

Carol gave the smallest of smiles, and inclined her head into a nod. In no time at all they were pulling up next to the sidewalk a few feet from where Carol's flat was on Madison Drive. Therese heard Carol turn the car keys and kill the ignition.

"Here we are," she said turning to Therese for the first time and with her familiar smile said "home sweet home."

Carol got out the car and Therese copied, closing her door a little harder than she anticipated. She followed Carol to the door to the flats, through the corridor and into a lift where Carol pressed the golden button of number three.

"It's very different from the New Jersey home, a lot smaller, less grand, but I like it." Carol said all this quickly almost nervously as if she were justifying herself. Therese, who could feel the familiar feeling of numbness creeping up on her just nodded as the lift rattled upwards.

What the hell was she going to do? What was going to happen when they went inside? Maybe she could just turn back now and not deal with this. But as the thought entered her head, she immediately rejected it. No, she wanted to be here. Despite her beating heart, her sense of light headedness and the all-consuming feeling of panic, she wanted to be here, next to Carol.

"Well here we are," said Carol as the elevator door opened and they came to a corridor with the number 11 on it. Carol pulled out her key, put it in the locked and opened it. She gestured wordlessly for Therese to enter, and followed behind her, flicking on the light switch.

Therese's initial thought was to laugh out loud at how Carol had described it as 'a lot smaller'. Well, yes, it was but it was still huge. With oak floors and the most exquisite finely polished furniture Therese had ever seen. It was stunning. Every picture, every lamp, ornament, chair, had been placed with care. It was spectacular.

"So, what do you think?" asked Carol, her voice sounding nervous. Although she was desperately seeking Therese's good opinion.

"It's….It's" started Therese'.

"I know, it still needs a lot doing to it, and I really need to spend more time adjusting things properly but- "

"Carol, it's perfect," cut across Therese.

"Really?" she asked beaming.

"Really," repeated Therese, smiling.

Carol took a tentative step forward.

"I'm glad you came tonight…"

"So am I." Therese swallowed, her throat suddenly going very dry as Carol took another step forward.

"I'm glad you are here…now." Carol took yet another step forward, so that they were barley inches from each other. Therese could feel her body radiating heat. Oh God, could Carol feel it too?

Carol, slowly, very slowly raised a hand and gently stroked Therese's check. Therese closed her eyes at the touch and as she did so she felt Carols lips meet hers. Therese's eyes shot open and in sheer shock she took a step back.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have assumed" said Carol, blushing like Therese had never seen her before as she too took a step back.

"No, no, don't be, you just, you just took me by surprise," stuttered Therese. What the hell was she thinking. Why?

"You don't need to explain yourself Therese…I understand, you don't, you don't want me anymore."

"What?"

"Look, darling I understand. You do not love me anymore. I understand," said Carol her eyes turning from Therese, but not before Therese could see the pain in them.

It was Therese's turn to move closer to Carol. She took her face firmly in in her hands so that Carol's eyes were on her.

"I love you Carol," she said slowly and moanfully and before Carol could answer Therese brought her lips back to Carol's. The butterflies seemed to erupt inside Therese as her lips moved with Carol's. Therese could feel the enthusiasm from Carol as she put a hand through her hair and as a moan issued from her mouth. Therese began to deepen the kiss and moved her tongue inside of Carols mouth, feeling the hot wet mouth she new so well. Her lips seemed to have a mind of her own and she moved them down carols throat, leaving wet sloppy kisses all down her neck before moving back to her mouth. Carols hands groped at Therese and pulled and tugged at her back and hips with such eagerness Therese felt like she could not stand there much longer.

Carol, then moved back so as to break the kiss.

"The bedroom is this way…" she said leading Therese forward.


	3. Chapter 3

**NOTE: Thank you for all of you have reviewed/ who are reading. Really hope you are enjoying this so far. All your comments mean a lot to me, thank you so much!**

Therese followed, her eyes on Carol's hips and they moved from side to side as she walked away from the sitting room and into the darkened bed room. Therese quickened her pace and moved into the blackened room. For a moment, she was shrouded in complete darkness.

"Carol?" she asked. But before the words were barely out of her lips, other lips were before her, soft ones, that pressed urgently against her own, moving with a ferocious kind of tenderness.

Therese felt the jolt in her stomach erupt and her own lips respond excitedly as her hands moved quickly up to Carol's neck, checks and hair, entangling herself so she was closer to Carol as she had never been before. A frenzied passion seemed to be taking over her as she kissed Carol, she wanted to be as close to Carol as possible, to kiss, touch, taste every part of her. She could not seem to get close enough. She heard Carol panting slightly as the woman hands tugged at Therese's dress, urging it to come off. Therese smiled in the darkness and moved a couple steps from Carol, unzipping her dress and sliding out until she was in only bra, underwear and stockings. Therese heard Carol sigh a deep heavy one.

"Oh Miss Belivet, the things you do to me," came Carols voice as the older woman's hands explored the new range of exposed skin they now had; first up Therese's legs then at the hips and then lingering at her bra for a long moment.

"There are still too many items of clothing on for my liking though," Carol said silkily, as her hands began to fiddle with the bra's clasping. "Maybe you need some help?" she asked mockingly, and before Therese could answer she unhooked it. The bra fell to the floor with a gentle thud.

Immediately Carol's hands moved to cover up the exposed breasts, and a moan issued out of Therese's mouth as Carol's cold hand enclosed around them. Therese could not think anymore. All she wanted was for every inch of her body to be pressed against Carol's.

As if Carol could sense this, she pulled back slightly and steered Therese to the bed. She then pushed her gently and Therese fell back on the feathered duvet.

"Now," said Carol, running a hand up the left calf of Therese's leg and stopping mid-way up the thigh to where the stocking began "this could come to some damage if we are not careful," she griped the top of it and leant into Therese's ear, whispering "and I have absolutely no intention of being careful tonight." Therese shivered in pleasure as slowly Carol removed it, her hand gliding down Therese's leg sending goose bumps up her arms.

"Now to the next." And she copied her action on the other leg, removing the stocking painfully slowly but this time lightly kissing her thigh, knee and calf as she went down. Therese sighed as Carols dropped the stocking on the floor. Carol now moved her hands slowly up Therese's calf, thigh, and stopped at her hips.

"Still too much clothing on…"

"Hang on, this isn't fair" managed Therese, slightly breathlessly.

"I didn't say I would play fair" came Carol's voice, her lips pressing to Therese's ear.

"I want your clothes of too"

"Oh but darling, I think its much more important to get your clothes of than mine." Carols hands began to fumble with Therese's underwear but Therese, mustering all the self-control she had left (which albeit was very little) stopped her.

"No" and moved her hands to stop Carol. "I need you…" there was much more behind her words and she knew it but she kissed Carol quickly to try and disguise the full emotion she was feeling. However the words had some effect on Carol.

"Well if you insist…" and she began to unbutton her dress.

"Let me" said Therese eager as she reached for Carol's back.

BANG, BANG, BANG

"What was that?" asked Therese shocked as the two of them broke apart.

BANG, BANG, BANG came the noise again.

"I think it is the door," replied Carol, her voice with a touch of fear. "Stay here." She got up of the bed, and redid the couple few buttons that needed doing up and left the room "I won't be a moment darling, there's nothing that will keep me away from you any longer than I have already had to endure," she said shooting Therese a dazzling smile.

Feeling somewhat comforted Therese climbed under the duvet and listened hard, her heart still beating fast. She then heard the click of the door open and hurried footsteps come inside.

"Oh Carol – thank God you are here. I tried to call about an hour ago."

"I was out, Mrs Aird. To what do I owe the pleasure?" Carol asked her voice cold and formal.

For a moment Therese was confused. Mrs Aird? Wasn't she, Carol Mrs Aird? And then it clicked, Harge's mother.

"Oh Carol, you know I wouldn't be here unless I absolutely needed to." Came the woman's voice, sounding impatient. "It's Harge…"

"What about him?" And Therese was glad to hear that Carol's voice was hard.

"Something has happened."

"Look Mrs Aird, I am rather busy so if you would just be straight with me. I have made myself very clear to Harge, I have no intention of us getting back to married life, especially after-"

But Mrs Aird cut across, "No no, it is not that," said the woman in what was clearly a very cross voice.

"Then why exactly did you have to come to my apartment at" There was a pause, apparently for Carol to check her watch "10:45 to discuss?"

"It's, it's Rindy."

"Rindy?" and Therese could hear how Carols voice softened immediately at the name.

"Harge and Rindy have been in an accident." Carol gasped but the woman continued quickly "It's okay, they are alright, they are in hospital, neither have been seriously hurt. Harge has a broken arm and a few cracked ribs, and Rindy has a mild concussion and a sprained wrist. But Rindy is…well, she needs to be near her mother, she will not calm down at all. We must go now."

"Of course," came Carols answer in pure desperation. Therese heard the moving of feet and the door click again and then there was silence. Long pure silence. She was alone once again.


	4. Chapter 4

She sat there in the middle of the bed and let the minute's trickle by. She had no idea of what to think. She felt shock, pain, anger guilt and a hundred other emotions. It was if they were all trying to push their way to her mind first and there had been a blockage at the door.

Okay, just breath Therese. Let's think about this in a logical way. Rindy was hurt, Carol had gone to look after Rindy. Those were the facts. However, Carol did not come into the room to even say goodbye to Therese once she had decided to go, she had just left. That was a fact too…But could she have done so with Mrs Aird there? Well, maybe she could have done so discreetly? But 'come on', said a voice in her head, Carol was so overwhelmed with concern over Rindy, why would she be thinking about her? Carol's prime concern was for Rindy, that was natural.

Therese let out a deep breath and shook her head. How selfish was she being? Thinking about herself when Carol's little girl was in the hospital. Therese immediately felt sickened by the thought. Oh God, why was she always putting her own feeling first? Poor Carol, poor Rindy! What a horrible thing…

She knew what she had to do. She had to leave. She couldn't be here when Carol came back. Carol would need her own space, besides, if Rindy wanted to be with Carol maybe Carol wouldn't leave the hospital. Yes, that was very possible, or maybe she would bring Rindy back here or and Therese swallowed at the thought, maybe Carol, Rindy and Harge would all go back to their house in New Jersey and be together. Maybe this whole horrible incident would make them want to be together as a family and that Carol would realise how she can't deal with the idea of barley seeing Rindy and so would come to some sort of arrangement with Harge that would mean they try and work things out, which would mean Therese would never see Carol again. Just like before.

Therese froze at the thought. She shouldn't think about it. It wasn't right to think about it, it was none of her business, I mean what was she to Carol anyway? Therese felt as if she had just been plunged in to ice cold water, she shivered. She had no claim over Carol, none at all. Carol had chosen Rindy over her before, of course she would do it again, this shouldn't be a shock to Therese. After all, her and Carol hadn't confirmed anything between them this evening, nothing had been said exactly, so in Carol's eyes maybe nothing had been lost.

Therese had gotten up. She needed to go and now, otherwise…otherwise she wouldn't be able to. She picked up her clothes of the ground and dressed quickly, trying desperately not to think about the way Carol had removed those items of clothing, or the way it had felt when Carol had looked into her eyes, had kissed- Stop! Stop thinking about this, it will not help, now hurry up and leave already. She ran up to the door and threw it open, she took a step out, then she paused and turned her head back at the flat. Wondering, wondering. Was this the first and last time she would be here?

She ran out to the street, it was raining hard now and it had grown dark and misty. She stuck out her right arm and waved. A taxi came screeching to a halt, and she clambered in giving the man her address in a tone that quite plainly said 'I don't want to have small chat'. Her mind felt like a whirlwind. Everything seemed to be a blur, and in a manner of seconds, or so it felt, she was outside the building of her flat. She thanked the driver, handed him some money and entered the building.

The hall was cold and hard, and her flat itself was almost completely black. She flicked on a switch which issued a dull glow and walked straight to her bedroom and without removing any clothes she threw herself on the bed. Then the tears came.

She could not stop them. And she cried and cried and cried. She cried until there were no more tears to fall, until she was simply whimpering. She curled herself into a ball and wrapped her arms around her chest, the familiar feeling of breaking engulfed her and she shook and shuddered on the bed. She felt as if her heart, which had been in the process of mending, break into a thousand more pieces, felt it being stabbed as if by a furnace hot knife. She forced her face deeper into the pillows to muffle her yells. It was too much. She closed her eyes.

She woke to bright sunlight shining in her face and the sharp sound of the door bell ringing over and over again. Her head felt as if it were made of lead. It felt heavy, sore and swollen. Her whole body seemed to ache and scream in protest as she got up. Like a zombie, she stumbled to the door and answered the phone.

"Hello?" she croaked.

"Therese, where the hell have you been?" It was Dannie's voice.

She rung him up and opened the door then flopped back onto her bed.

"Therese where the hell were you? It is past 11 and you said-" but he stopped as he came forward. He looked at Therese with a frown "Therese?

She rolled over, her eyes heavy. The room was spinning, she tried to blink but her vision was becoming black and bleary. The last thing she could recall were arms around her.

"Therese, Therese?" Strong arms seemed to be shaking her gently, and something cold and wet was being pressed against her forehead.

She opened an eye and blinked, the room was spinning again. She blinked again, things were slowly coming into focus, a warm yellow curtain, an armchair a desk. Hang on….where the hell was she? She sat up a little more quickly than she amticipated and she felt a hand push her back saying "Easy Therese."

"Dannie?"

"Well who else would it be honey?" he asked with a slight laugh as his face began to swim in to vision. "Jeez Therese you gave me quite a shock there."

"Where am I?"

"Don't you recognise the place? You're at my place."

"How? Why?"

"Jeez Therese, I couldn't just leave you at your flat and I have this spare bedroom here so thought I could keep an eye on you while you recover. You need someone to look after you, you have been out of it for about 12 hours, nasty fever you got. So, I picked you up, put you in my car and here we are. Gotta lota funny looks putting you in the car I did, I'll tell ya that," he said chuckling. He turned over the wet flannel on her forehead.

"I feel like death Dannie." She managed to croak.

"Yeah you look it too! Just rest and everything'll be okay right." He stood up and walked to the door, "I'll be around if you need me. Just try to sleep, don't think of anything." He closed the door.

Don't think of anything? How could she do that when Carol once again had left her. She just knew it. It was too much. She closed her eyes and let her mind drift in to restless dreams.


	5. Chapter 5

For the next four days Therese stayed in bed. In truth, after day two, she had felt a lot better physically but she couldn't bring herself to leave bed. The thought of going back to her flat alone was horrible. There were too many memories, too much to think about. She had once enjoyed being alone, but now the thought filled her with dread. It was strange but it was so nice to hear that someone else was near her, even if it was just the sounds of them clattering in the kitchen. Being here with Dannie felt like being here with a brother, she felt safe here and warm, looked after and cared for and she did not want to give that up.

She slipped out of her bed went into the kitchen, holding an empty mug.

"Hey sleepy," said Dannie as she entered.

"Hey, what you cooking?" she asked feigning a cough.

"Bolognese, thought it would do the trick in boosting you up. You need to eat honey."

"Sounds good to me" she said breathing in the rich smells of onions sautéing. She watched him as he added the carrots, beef and tomatoes, then moved to the kettle.

"Coffee?" he asked?

"Please" and she handed her mug to him.

"Wanna sit for a bit while this cooks away? Have a catch up?" he asked pouring two steaming mugs of coffee and handing her one.

"Sure" and she followed him through to the sitting room and sank into a squashy arm chair.

"Therese" started Dannie, his usually twinkling eyes now serious "I'm worried about you."

Therese felt a twinge in her stomach.

"Dannie, I'm on the mend, I should be better soon."

"I'm not talking about your fever, we both know you got over that a couple days ago."

Therese spluttered "I…well I."

"Oh come on!" He said now grinning, "I know when your faking it, I used to bunk of school all the time, I know every trick in the book." He took a sip of coffee, and fixed her again with a serious expression. "A fever doesn't make you cry all night. It's something else, isn't it?"

Therese looked deep into her mug of coffee, took a sip and nodded.

"What is it honey? Or is the question who?"

Therese paused, unsure what to say, Carol's face swam into vision.

"Carol" she said.

Dannie let out a small, long sigh. He had heard all about Therese's adventures with Carol once Therese came back. He had in many ways picked Therese up last time.

"What happened?"

Therese hesitated. Then spoke, she spoke for a full ten minutes, her voice getting more and more hoarse as she continued her story. Dannie just watching her, his eyes full of concern.

"And then," she said her head in her hands "she just walked out the door, didn't say goodbye or anything, and I sat for a minute and left. I mean there was nothing else I could do."

Dannie got up and moved over to Therese, "come here you," he said embracing her and gently rubbing her back.

"Look Dannie, I'm sorry I didn't tell you I was better, it has just been so nice having company." She smiled at him sadly, she could feel tears welling up. She gave a small laugh "It's all your fault, you said I should be more interested in people, and now I crave company."

Dannie gave a short laugh, and squeezed her shoulders.

"Look honey, you got nothing to feel sorry for, truth be told, I love havin ya here. It's nice. You can stay as long as ya want."

"You may regret saying that Dannie."

"Course I won't! Tell you what, why don't you go back to your flat today and pick up some things. I don't exactly think my clothes suit you very well." He said looking at his shirt that Therese was wearing that seemed to dwarth her.

Half an hour later Therese was at her flat. Dannie had dropped her off with the promise that he would swing by in an hour to pick up her things. She opened the door and went in. It was exctly as she had left it. She took a step forward then knelt down and picked up a small stack of letters. Bill, bill, and then she stopped staring at the slopped writing. That was Carol's writing. Her heart fluttered as she stared at her name that Carol had written. She reached to open it, then hesitated. The last time Carol had written her a letter it had broken her heart. What if this was exactly the same thing, saying they couldn't see each other, that it was because she was young as to why she sought resolutions. She paused and put the letter in her pocket. She would deal with it later, tonight when she could be in bed.

She then went into her bedroom and pulled out the case Carol had given to her. Trying desperately not to think about that trip she had taken with Carol she began to pack. First clothes, then books, toothbrush makeup.

The doorbell rang. Ahhh Dannie, why was she taking so long. She rushed to the phone and without answering it pressed the buzzer to let him up and released the catch of her door so that he could just enter.

She heard footsteps coming up the stairs and quickly went back to her room, collecting a few more things to stuff into her now full case.

"Sorry Dannie, won't be much longer, just need a few more things." She said, crouched over the suitcase, her back to the door.

"Going anywhere nice?" asked a voice.

Therese froze, then spun around. Carol stood at the door, a light blue jacket on and a red hat.

"Carol," said Therese startled. She didn't know what else to say. She just stared at the woman, her heart beating fast.

Carol, stared back at her, a hungry look in her eye and something else, that Therese wasn't sure of, was it annoyance?"

"So why answer the door now?" asked Carol coolly, breaking the gaze and looking down as she walked in "I am allowed in, am I? Or did you only answer it because you thought it was Dannie?"

Therese was taken aback. The tone that Carol was using with her was cold and harsh, as if she felt nothing. Maybe she didn't…

"What are you talking about Carol?" asked Therese.

"Look if you don't want to see me I don't blame you. I can go." She half turned away.

"No, wait, don't go" said Therese desperately.

"If you don't want me to go, then why did you not let me in all those times before?"

"What times before?"

Carol looked at her, one eyebrow raised as if she was unsure if Therese was lying to her.

"I have been here every day, sometimes twice, ringing the door. I have called here at least three times a day and I wrote you a letter and nothing. But only now do I see you all because you thought it was Dannie coming to see you. Do you have any idea of how worried I have been? I even called The Times and they said you were ill. I was about to call the police after today."

"I have been ill, I have been staying at Dannie's flat" she said quickly.

"Oh" said Carol, evidently trying to act as if this news didn't bother her, then she frowned "So are you and Dannie, a… well are you an item?"

"Off course not!"

"So why did you stay there?"

Therese hesitated. "Like I say, I was ill, he found me and took me to his flat to look after me. This is the first time I have been back since."

"Then why are you packing?" Carol asked, her eyes lingering on the case on the floor.

"Dannie said I could stay with him for a bit."

"Why?" Asked Carol, but Therese was starting to feel annoyed now, why was she having to explain everything when did Carol ever explain anything to her.

"You know what Carol, I am because I am."

Carol looked taken aback at this but Therese felt the anger grow.

"If it was so important to see me why did you leave me alone all those months ago?" Said Therese her voice beginning to rise in anger "Why did you leave me the other night? and why the hell are you annoyed when you don't know where I am? I'm not some toy you can just pick up and let go when you want."

She knew that she was being irrational but she didn't care. All the pent-up anger and rage seemed to be flooding back. The tears were beginning to well up in her eyes.

"You can't just waltz back into my life as if nothing has happened and just expect me to follow you around like a stupid puppy. That girl isn't here anymore. You made sure of that, she's gone and she isn't coming back!" The tears came pouring down but she continued.

"You can keep your letter." She said reaching into her pocket and throwing the unopened letter across the room "I don't need to read it to know what it says. That you're so sorry, that this hurts you, but that once again you are leaving. If its pity why you are here, you can go. I'm alive, I'm okay, you don't owe me anything." Therese felt her knees shake and she moved to the bed not looking at Carol and sat, burying her head in her hands as she sobbed.

She felt a hand rest on her shoulder. She didn't shake it of.

"Therese?" Asked Carol softly.

"You can go Carol."

"Do you want me to go?"

Therese could hear the change in Carol's voice it sounded pained and cracked as if she too were struggling to keep it together.

"I don't want to go" Carol answered, placing a hand over Therese's.


	6. Chapter 6

**Note:** Thank you so much for all the reviews! I really hope you are enjoying this. Will try and get the next chapter out soon :)

Therese didn't answer, she kept her head in her hands as the tears fell hard. She could feel Carol's hand against her back and on her own hand, Carol's thumb gently stroking her fingers from side to side. Therese couldn't bring herself to look at Carol, she just couldn't, she was so angry yet so upset. She knew that when she spoke to her it would mean that they had to deal with their issues, with the real world. They were no longer the little bubble they had been in whilst they had been on their trip. And now… Therese couldn't even bare to think what was going to happen, or not happen…

"Therese?" asked Carol, breaking the silence in a tentative voice.

Therese didn't answer, but she removed her hands from her eyes and pulled out a handkerchief, dabbing at her eyes. She knew she must look a mess, knew her eyes would be blotchy and her nose red. She looked down embarrassed. She hated that Carol had seen her like this. Hated that Carol knew how much pain she was in, looking vulnerable, weak.

"Therese" said Carol again, "Please can we talk?"

Therese looked down at her hands which were tear stained. She opened her mouth to reply just as the doorbell went. Both her and Carol jumped. They were so wrapped up in the moment that the noise of the door threw them of. Therese stood up, somewhat stiffly and mumbled

"I better get that." She moved to the door and picked up the phone "Yes?" she asked in a dull voice.

"It's me honey" came Dannie's voice "I'll give you a hand with your stuff."

Therese had no idea what to do. The idea of Dannie coming up panicked her as that would surely mean Carol would leave. Although, at the same time, the idea of having a proper conversation with Carol panicked Therese too. Her mind wasn't working right, what the hell should she do? She hesitated, her ear still pressed to the phone then she let her fingers act on their own. They reluctantly pressed the buzzer. She replaced the phone and opened the door. She could hear Dannie running up the stairs like a kid, apparently doing two at a time. He arrived puffing and smiling.

"Ready to- Therese, are you alright?" He asked walking into the flat and taking Therese's hands. "What has happened?" he said surveying her face his eyes wide, he looked left and it was then that he saw Carol, sitting on the bed her eyes downcast.

"What have you done?" he asked pointing an accusing finger at Carol.

"I'm sorry, have we met?" asked Carol, looking up in surprise at being addressed like this from in her eyes a stranger.

"No, but I know all about you."

"Dannie please, please don't, look just take my stuff, I'll be over later."

"I can't leave you here. Not with her." Said Dannie desperately, eyeing Carol with dislike.

"Dannie," Therese placed a hand on Dannie's check and looked him in the eye "I'll come around later," she said slowly. She then went to her suitcase, closed the clasps, picked it up and handed it to him, "please Dannie."

Dannie looked at her for a long moment before saying "Alright," he turned away from Therese and turned instead to Carol "but if I hear your mean to this girl, you'll have me to answer to," he said glaring at Carol before giving Therese a look that clearly said, 'I wish you weren't doing this' and then he left shutting the door with a snap.

Therese let out a long sigh. She turned to Carol slowly. Her mind spinning. Carol looked up at her.

"Would you like a cup of tea?" Therese asked.

"Well, yes, tea would be very welcomed" replied Carol who looked on the verge of tears.

Therese nodded and moved robotically to the kitchen. She filled the kettle with hot water and placed it on the stove. She could hear Carol coming into the Kitchen.

"So" said Carol looking around "I don't want to be getting in your friend Dannie's bad books do I?" She said trying and failing to smile.

Therese just shook her head. She turned her back to Carol while she made the tea. Milk, two sugars for Carol, and handed it over.

"Thank you, shall we sit?" Carol asked.

Therese nodded and they moved to the sitting room and sat, the sky grey and dark against the windows. Therese switched on a lamp and sat. Carol looked around the small room for a few minutes, evidently wondering how close to Therese she should sit before finally decided on the same sofa as Therese.

Then there was silence, long cold silence. Where to start? Was evidently the question in both their minds.

"Is Rindy okay?" asked Therese.

"Oh, yes, thank you" said Carol a pained expression on her face, "she is a little shaken up but is on the mend. I… I stayed there with her in the hospital for a while and…. Well…Harge was kind enough to let me go over to his house to stay with her a bit longer."

So, she was right. She was right. Carol had done exactly what Therese had hoped she would not. Never in her life had she wanted to be less right. It felt like yet another blow had come at her. She closed her eyes momentarily and sipped at the scalding tea, it burned her tongue as she drank but she didn't care. It felt good to feel something, some kind of physical pain.

"Well, I'm glad that, that she is okay," answered Therese, her eyes on her mug. "And Harge?" she asked, not really caring for the answer.

"Oh, well, fine, a bit flustered but fine. He actually is being very kind to me at the moment."

"How nice," said Therese taking another sip of burning tea.

"Well, yes" continued Carol, "but it is in the sense that he is letting me see Rindy every week on a Wednesday. Only for a few hours in the afternoon, he usually plays squash then, so Rindy would usually be with the nanny, but in any case, I'm very grateful."

Therese nodded. Did this mean that Carol and Harge were not trying to re-work their marriage? The fact that Carol now was able to see Rindy more once a week must suggest that they were still going through with the divorce. But as she thought of this she was reminded of that moral clause, that initiated Carol and Therese going their separate ways. Her heart sank again. Of course, Carol would choose seeing Rindy more, even if that meant that she didn't see Therese.

"Therese, I know what I have done, what I did to you is, was, not okay. I never wanted to hurt you."

"I think it is a bit late for that" Therese answered stiffly, noting the past tense. So, this was it. This was Carol saying that everything was officially over, that there was no going back this time.

"It's just so difficult, you do understand why I left?"

Therese hated to admit it but of course she knew. She nodded.

Carol took another sip of tea and looked down, she looked as if she had no idea of what to say. But Therese, still feeling resentful and pained wasn't going to help her.

"Therese, I know I haven't treated you as you deserve to be treated-" but Therese interjected, she just didn't think she could handle this, if this was going to be the end once again, she wanted it to be quick.

"Look Carol, you don't need to explain, I get it. Rindy comes first, she always has and she always will. I do understand, truly." She gulped, she had to keep going, otherwise she would break. "I'm guessing you can't see me anymore now. There is no need to apologise, you don't owe me an explanation anymore, you can go in peace."

Carol just stared at her, her eyes wide.

"Therese, I'm not here because I am leaving you again. I'm not here out of pity or because I'm telling you that this is over. I'm here because I am about to beg for you to have me back in your life."

She shifted forwards on the sofa, moving closer to Therese and took Therese's hands in hers, she looked down at them and then up, straight into Therese's eyes.

"I love you."


	7. Chapter 7

Therese didn't say a word. She just looked at Carol, feeling her heart beat frantically.

"Well?" said Carol, her eyes anxious as they searched for answers in Therese's face.

"You love me?" Therese asked which made Carol smile.

"every morsel in my body tells me so, you must know that," and she lifted Therese's hand and pressed it against her lips.

Therese felt the fluttering in her stomach erupt as Carol's soft tender lips moved against her skin. Carol lowed Therese's hand but did not let go.

"What does that mean? So, you want to, to…" said Therese struggling to find the right words. She couldn't think clearly. She had felt too many emotions in such a short time.

"I want to be with you. No, I need to be with you Therese," said Carol a pleading look in her face.

Therese hesitated. Oh, how she wanted to say yes, to throw herself in to Carol arms, to kiss, hold and love every inch of this woman, but could she handle the pain? There was still a dull ache in her heart from the pain that it had inflicted and how could she be sure that Carol would not just up and leave her again?

"You want to be with me?" asked Therese with a slight frown.

"With all my heart darling, I truly, truly do."

"And Harge?"

"He will let me see Rindy once a week, regardless of anything. He has realised that it benefits Rindy seeing her mother."

Therese took another sip of her tea, which was beginning to cool.

"So, what do you say?" asked Carol, her hand moving through the back of her hair.

"Carol, I…I" Therese looked around. How could she say what she wanted? "I think," after a pause she began again "that we, we take it slow…I still feel, well, uncertain of where we lie with this situation and I really don't want you making any promises you can't keep, even if undeliberate."

Carol gave a faint smile that held a hint of pain.

"I can do slow. So long as it means that you are back in my life, I can do slow. It will be a struggle though, in-fact I'm struggling right now," and as she spoke her eyes combed over Therese's figure making Therese's heart rate quicken.

Therese stood up. She didn't know how long she could now be this close to Carol without wanting to touch and hold her, but she knew that waiting would be best.

"Carol, Dannie is waiting, I should go."

Carol stood up too. She then took two tentative steps forward and embraced Therese, hugging her deeply. Therese got a waft of Carol's floral perfume that she loved so much and memories of their trip came flooding back, of waking to this smell and Carols grey eyes glistening through the dark at her. They broke apart and looked at each other.

"How about I give you a lift?" asked Carol, her cheeks slightly red.

"Thank you" accepted Therese.

She led the way out of the flat, down the stairs and out on to the street and then into the car. If smelling Carol had been reminiscent of the times she had spent with her, it had been nothing to being back in the car with Carol. Therese felt flashback upon flashback hit her as if a wave were washing over her; the snowy scenery with an endless expanse of road ahead of them, the long lingering looks, the painting of the red lips, Carol cursing, Carol laughing, the twinkling eyes. Therese closed her eyes momentarily taking it all in and then she opened her eyes and looked towards Carol.

Carol seemed to be watching Therese, a coy smile on her lips. She put the key into the ignition and said in her melodious voice "Brings back memories, doesn't it?"

How did she know? How did she always know?

Before Therese could answer, Carol had turned the key which set the car's engine to life. She drove slowly, which was unlike Carol, to Dannie's apartment, as if she too were savouring the moments they had together. They didn't speak. They didn't need to. The silence was comfortable, it had always been, but there was another feeling that seemed to linger in the air. What was it? Excitement? Therese felt herself get lost in her thoughts that kept ending up to nights in Carols bare arms. No, do not think about that Therese, not now, but she couldn't help it. It all just came flooding back, al the memories and feelings that she had been trying to suppress over the last few weeks seemed to be throwing themselves into Therese's mind one after another. All to soon they came to a stop and Carol turned the ignition off and looked at Therese.

"When can I next see you darling?" The eagerness in Carols voice made Therese blush. Therese looked at the dash board, to Carols hands and remembered the way they used to caress her.

"Well?" prompted Carol. Therese forced herself to focus.

"How about Thursday evening?"

Carol sighed, but nodded. "That is going to be a very long three days Miss Belivet." She was looking deep into Therese's eyes as only Carol could, like she was seeing something more than just eyes.

Therese looked away, unable to keep the gaze as her heart was beating frantically fast.

"I'll pick you up from the Times then?"

"Sure."

"Five?"

"Yes."

Therese chanced a glance back at Carol, but wished she hadn't as she was hit again by the force of Carols eyes that seemed to send an electric shock through Therese's body.

"Oh, the things you do to me Therese," said Carol, almost in a whisper. "Well, goodbye for now." For the second time that day she pulled Therese into an embrace. Therese felt herself melt away in that hug, she did not want it to end. She felt Carols lips gentle graze her ear as she whispered "I wish Thursday were now," and then she pulled back out of the hug leaving Therese feeling stunned. Therese sat there for a moment before realising that she should get out of the car. She opened the door and clumsily got out, feeling extremely light headed as she closed the door and watched Carol drive away.

Until Thursday, thought Therese, desperately wishing that Thursday would come as soon as possible.


	8. Chapter 8

**Note:** Thank you so so much for the reviews! I really love reading them. Hope you enjoy the update :)

The days went by slowly. Too slowly. Therese had decided that it was time to go back to work, and she also found that she was glad. It was great to be back at the Times and feel the buzz of the office. There was rarely a quiet moment in work, it was constant 'on the go', people barging into offices suggesting ideas, relaying new information or bluntly telling you what to do. It was also a perfect distraction from what lay ahead.

Although Therese felt a need and a desire to see Carol, she was nervous. She couldn't quite put her finger on why. She didn't know what was going to happen. For the first time, she felt in control of what she and Carol either had or could have and this unnerved her. She had been so used to Carol calling the shots and taking the lead, with her just following with what Carol did or didn't decide. Now the shoe was on the other foot, Therese felt scared. She didn't like it and consequently had very little idea of what to do.

She still felt hurt, angry and insecure. How could she be sure that Carol would not just change her mind again? It made Therese think that she should be sensible, take it slow. She could not afford to have her heart broken again, she didn't think that she would be able to cope with that. Yet, on the other hand, why should she take it slow? She had been waiting long enough, why not throw herself into this new and exciting time with Carol? These thoughts would come pouring into her mind every time she had a minute to spare, each battling their case in her head. And then there was Thursday itself. What would happen? They hadn't made any specific plans about what they would do or where they would go, only that Carol would pick Therese up at five.

Therese's stomach jolted at the idea and she busied herself with adding a good pinch of salt in to a pot and stirring the contents. She was still staying with Dannie, he hadn't mentioned what had happened back at Therese's flat and hadn't mentioned Carol either. It was so easy with him although there were times where Therese could feel his eyes on her, as if waiting to see some reaction.

"So what you cooking for dinner? Smells good," asked Dannie, entering the kitchen and sniffing the air.

"Making a beef stew. I think I have made rather a lot," she replied peering into the contents of the large cast iron pot.

"That's fine, we can just have some tomorrow as well."

Therese's stomach gave a guilty twinge.

"Um, I won't be in for dinner tomorrow," she said, eyes adverted down to the bubbling stew.

"Oh yeah, where you at? Not work?"

"No…not work. I – I'm seeing Carol."

Dannie stopped and looked at Therese, a strange expression on his face.

"There would be no point telling you not to go would there?" he asked at last.

"No, I don't think there would be." Replied Therese.

Dannie shrugged, went to the fridge and took out a couple beers. He moved to a drawer and pulled out a bottle opener, then opening both bottles with a crisp fizz he passed one to Therese.

"Well just be careful Therese," he said taking a swig from his own bottle. "When you are so in love it's hard to always do what is best for you. And you need to do what is best for you."

Therese imitated Dannie and drank too. "I know, I know."

"I just don't want her messing with you again. You are a great gal, she should know that you aren't someone she can just come for when it suits her."

"It's not like that Dannie," said Therese feeling a flush in her cheeks, but as much as she hated it she felt that there was a touch of truth in what he said.

"Alright," and he patted Therese on the shoulder. "Just do what you want to do."

The next day Therese awoke early. It had been a somewhat restless night, interrupted with images of Carol drifting in and out of her dreams. At last Therese decided she could not sleep anymore and so got up. She was glad she did as it took a lot longer than normal to get change. She kept putting clothes on, taking them of and repeating the process. She wanted to look independent, strong, in control, despite not feeling so at all, on the contrary she felt giddy and lightheaded. At last she settled on a dress she had bought recently that was very modern and dark, it worked. She took a big sip of coffee then left the apartment

Time today seemed to be slipping out of Therese's hands like water. The morning simply flew by in meetings and coffee and where did the afternoon go? She barley had enough time for a quick sandwich before she was in another meeting then going through photos with the team and then it was five to five. She felt a tingling feeling in her palms and went to the bathroom. She looked at herself in the mirror and wide dark eyes looked back at her. It's fine Therese, it's fine. She reached in her handbag for some lipstick and applied some. She had seen Carol hundreds of times, there was no need to be nervous. You will be fine, absolutely fine, said an unconvincing voice in her head.

She took her time in leaving the building, until there was little point in delaying it any further. She went through the spiral doors and out into the busy street, a warm breeze meeting her. And there she was. Carol. Her golden hair seemed to catch the light, and shine. Carol then turned and saw Therese. She smiled and walked towards her.

"Well, well darling. Don't you look divine." Said Carol looking her up and down before leaning in and kissing Therese on the cheek, leaving the place where her lips had been to burn.

"Great to see you Carol," said Therese somewhat shyly.

"I'm so glad you came, I was worried you might change your mind." Carol grasped Therese's hand momentarily and then gestured for them to walk. "So where to then?"

"I, well, I don't mind" answered Therese. She felt so stupid, she had been so preoccupied with seeing Carol that she hadn't given much thought as to where they would go.

"Well, if you like, we could go to my apartment. I didn't know if we would have dinner out or not, so I bought baguette, pate, cheese, that sort of thing, just in-case," she added in an off-hand way.

"You didn't have to go to all that trouble," said Therese as they walked down the street, busy businessmen in darks suits brushing by them impatiently as they went.

"It was no trouble at all."

Oh, how Therese wished she could read what was in Carol's mind. Was she annoyed that Therese hadn't made plans, did she want her to go to her apartment or not? Therese had no idea.

"Well, that sounds great then."

"The car is just here," said Carol pointing it out. Not that she needed to, thought Therese, she doubted very much if she would ever forget this car.

They got in in silence and drove. It was a short, tense journey and Therese felt relieved when they got out the car. It was so odd, there was so much anxious energy between them. Carol led the way up to her apartment and Therese desperately tried to ignore what had happened last time she was here. Apparently, this was on Carol's mind too as Carol unusually, did not make eye contact with Therese as she let her in.

"Well, here we are, home sweet home" said Carol turning now to Therese with a wide smile. "May I take your coat Miss Belivet?" She asked playfully.

"You may?" smiled Therese, glad that the tension was at least partially broken.

She turned her back to Carol, and felt her hands slowly and gently remove the coat. Therese closed her eyes momentarily, remembering Carol removing other types of clothing in the same way.

"And a drink?" asked Carol, as she placed Therese's coat on the coat stand by the door.

"Please."

Carol, hung up her own coat, flicked on the radio and moved to the kitchen. Therese stayed where she was for a moment and looked around the apartment, really trying to take it in. It was beautiful.

"I really do like what you have done here," Therese said.

Carol then came back in the room carrying two glasses of wine.

"I'm very glad. It's important to me that you do like it." Her eyes were back on Therese's. Therese felt a small thrill of excitement. Was Carol referring to when she had asked Therese to live with her?

"Anyway, cheers!" Carol gentle knocked her glass against Therese's and drank, she then gestured for them to sit at the table which had already been laid for dinner.

"So, how was work?" Carol asked, her leg brushing against Therese's so that Therese momentarily froze.

"Oh, um it is, yeah, it is great, really busy and hectic, but great," she gabbled as she tried to recompose herself. The fireworks that she had felt at Carols touch seemed to be eruption inside her.

"I knew you would flourish there," I was so happy when Abby told me.

Abby. Therese had momentarily forgotten about her.

"Have you been seeing a lot of Abbey?" She asked, trying to sound ambivalent.

"Of course, Abby was a dear and helped me move all this stuff. Isn't it incredible how many things you can accumulate?"

Therese didn't answer, but drank instead, taking large sip. In truth she had no idea, having always had very few possessions.

"And how is Abbey?" asked Therese.

"Oh, you know," said Carol with a wave of her hand "She's Abby, in a world of her own."

Therese nodded and drank some more wine. It was silly, but every time she heard Abby's name mentioned she felt a twinge of jealousy in her stomach.

"You must be starving." And Carol stood up and brought the cheese, bread, pate, olives and salad to the table.

"I'm sorry it isn't that exciting darling," said Carol sitting back down.

"Carol, this is great honestly," said Therese not thinking and taking Carol's hand. Carol looked down at it and smiled.

"It is my pleasure. Truly." Her lips pressed against Therese's hand, before letting it go. "I can't tell you how happy I am to have you here. To be with you." She said, her voice silky smooth and she passed the bread to Therese.

"It's great to be here," said Therese, she could feel her checks redden.

Carol smiled and refilled their glasses.

"To fresh starts."

"To fresh starts," repeated Therese, her eyes locked on Carol's.


	9. Chapter 9

**Note:** Thank you so much for the reviews! Hope you enjoy this one :)

They talked, drank and talked. Carol ended up lighting as many candles as she could find and Therese watched, in fits of giggles as Carol moved around the apartment striking match after match as she ignited each candle.

"Carol, we do have such a thing called electricity you know," Therese couldn't help but say as she drank more of her wine. Everything felt warm and fuzzy, she could feel that her cheeks were hot and that the wine was making her light headed but she didn't care. She hadn't felt this happy since, well, God knows when.

"Oh don't be such a spoil sport, there is nothing remotely romantic about electricity darling." Carol shot Therese a dazzling smile as she leant forward, lit a candle and blew out the match. "There, you see, much better." She flicked off the light switch so that they were surrounded in the glow of the candle light. She then moved back to her seat and poured each of them another glass of wine.

"Are you trying to get me drunk Carol?" laughed Therese, who accepted the full glass with a roll of the eyes.

"I wouldn't dream of it," replied Carol with a wink that only made Therese blush deeper.

Carol placed a hand on Therese's and stroked her hand. She looked deep into Therese's eyes. Therese couldn't break the stare. Her heart was beginning to beat faster and she could feel her palms sweat. Carol moved closer, slowly. And then their lips met. It was soft, gentle and slow. Warm and careful. Carol's lips seemed almost unsure, as if not wanting to push anything to hard, but there was a yearning behind the kiss that Therese could feel. It was as if Carol was worried Therese would push her away if she tried for more. Therese felt her lips respond eagerly to Carol's. Therese leaned over the table more, trying to get closer, to deepen the kiss, to hold Carol, but just as she pushed forward Carol pulled back and broke the kiss. Carol smiled.

"You know, you give the sweetest kisses in the world Therese." Carol stood up and picked up their now empty plates and took them through to the kitchen.

Therese's mind was spinning. She sat there for a minute blinking then followed Carol through with the empty bread basket. There was the hum of the radio, playing a soft slow song and Carol was at the sink, her back turned to Therese. Therese moved forwards. Her stomach began to flutter. She placed the empty bread basket on the counter and moved towards Carol. She then took a breath and wrapped her arms around Carol's waist and going on tip toes she kissed her on the neck. Carol let out a sigh and turned to Therese, then without warning Carol pushed Therese against the wall and kissed her with more passion that ever before. Her tongue found it's way into Therese's mouth and she kissed her hard, not bothering to be gentle or careful now. Therese let out a moan as she pulled at Carols waist, pulling the woman forward so that she could feel the heat of her. Carol responded by running her hand through Therese's hair and bringing Therese's face closer to hers. Therese could feel Carol's hot breath in her mouth, feel her heart pounding almost as hard as her own and something else. Something that she couldn't describe, a sort of energy, magnetic energy between them that was impossible to resist.

Then the phone rang. They broke apart.

"For Christ sake, who would call now?" Asked Carol, clearly frustrated. She had not let go of Therese, her hand was still thick in her hair and the other tightly gripping her waist. "It doesn't matter, I won't answer it." And she leant forward to kiss her again but Therese held back.

"Carol, you better answer that, it could be Rindy."

Carol sighed but nodded. She reluctantly let go of Therese and moved to the phone and picked it up.

"Hello?" she asked, her voice barley hiding her annoyance.

Therese watched Carol listening to the receiver as someone spoke.

"Oh, hello darling, look I can't talk at the moment. Yes. Well, look we can talk then… Yes. I will see you tomorrow. I look forward to it too, bye."

Carol placed the phone done with a click and walked towards Therese.

"That was Abby, her timing as impeccable as usual." She gave a slight smile. "Now, where were we?" She placed both hands on Therese's hips but Therese didn't move closer, instead she took Carol's hands of her hips and held them.

"Look, Carol… it's getting late. I better go."

She wasn't quite sure what made her do it. Only that the phone ringing seemed to have awakened her from the euphoric feeling that she had been experiencing just moments earlier.

"Oh," said Carol, clearly surprised. "Are you sure, you can stay, I have the guest spare room, you wouldn't have to –"

But Therese cut across her. "No, no, it's fine, honestly. I have an early start tomorrow. Friday is always crazy. A million meetings, calls, photos, you know." She was waffling and felt flustered and for some reason embarrassed. Why?

"Oh, well, of course." Said Carol, still looking thoroughly confused.

To tell the truth Therese felt bewildered at her own actions too. Carol went and got her coat and helped Therese into it.

"Look Therese, I really didn't mean to rush things, I'm sorry if-" but for the second-time Therese cut across Carol.

"Carol, you have nothing to be sorry for. I had the most amazing evening. Truly. I just, well, just need to think a bit more about…things," she finished lamely. She looked down. How to say what she couldn't put into words?

Carol put her hands on her shoulders.

"Just so long as I didn't do anything wrong. I'm sorry, I know you said you wanted to take things slow. I will just need to find some self-restraint." She gave a small smile.

Therese looked hungrily into Carol's eyes. She wanted her so badly. She wanted to be in her arms, to be held and loved by Carol but she was so scared. So, scared of how vulnerable that would make her feel. Yes, it was best to go, for now.

"You have done nothing wrong Carol, nothing." Carol nodded, but looked slightly sad, as if she knew what was making Therese go.

"When can I next see you then darling? Would Saturday be too soon?"

"Saturday would be perfect. And we can have a full day together, well that is if you like, if you are not too busy."

"Therese, there is nothing I would like more than to be spending all my days with you. I hope one day you will now that. Saturday cannot come quickly enough."

Therese felt shy at this but smiled. She leant forward and kissed Carol. A soft tender kiss.

"I'll see you on Saturday." And with that Therese opened the door and left, the faint smell of Carol's floral perfume lingering on her skin.


	10. Chapter 10

**NOTE:** Thank you for all the reviews, I really, really appreciate them! I hope you are all having a lovely holiday :)

"So, how was it?" asked Dannie, the moment Therese came in.

She had considered lying to Dannie about where she was going that night but in the end decided on the truth. He had taken it well, nodded but told her to be careful before she had left.

"Oh, you know…nice," she replied, not looking at him as she walked in to the flat and closed the door.

Nice? Nice? What a terrible way to describe her evening with Carol. The word could never do justice to what had been felt, what had happened. Dannie seemed to have guessed what was going on in her head.

"I'm guessing it was more than nice?"

Therese didn't trust herself to speak, so she gave a nonchalant shrug of the shoulders and hung up her coat, thinking irresistibly of the way Carol had put it on.

"Okay, don't tell me," laughed Dannie, "Just so long as you are alright."

He patted her on the shoulder and went to his room. Therese went to her own, thinking. Was she alright? She wasn't sure. She didn't know what she felt. Confused was probably it. Part of her had so wanted to stay with Carol, to let things happen, yet another part had been terrified of staying, especially after Abby's call. Abby. She had momentarily forgotten about Abby, but not anymore. Abby was such a huge part of Carol's life, the most consistent person in it. She loved Abby deeply. And thoughts of Carol and Abby seemed to fill Therese's mind. The way they laughed and joked with each other. The way the must have once kissed each other and more. Their tangled bodies intertwined. No, no, no. Do not think about that, there is no point. Therese threw herself on her bed, fully clothed and closed her eyes.

Friday went by in a mad blur. It was always crazy on Fridays, there was always just so much to do. Therese found herself running around do a million things at once with very little time to think. However, that did not prevent images of Carol drifting in and out of her mind as she sifted through photos, talked to her boss or sat at her desk and tried to work through a large pile of paper work. All day flickers of the previous night came erupting through her mind which was utterly distracting. It also didn't help that it had begun to rain hard outside. It lashed the windows so loudly it was impossible to concentrate.

At last five o'clock came. She could go home and regain her thoughts in preparation for tomorrow, whatever they were going to be doing. She hadn't even asked what time she would be meeting Carol, she also didn't have a number for her. She would have to look up her address in a phone book and call. The thought gave her mild butterflies in her stomach. Oh well, let's just get home first.

She ran down the stairs and rummaged around for an umbrella in her bag. Why, oh why had she not brought one today of all days? It looked awful outside. She shuddered at the thought, watching as the big drops hit the grey concrete pavements hard forming puddles that seemed to be getting bigger before her very eyes. She took a breath and went out into the open. It was horrible. After only taking five steps she felt soaked, as if someone had poured a bucket of icy cold water over her head. She began to quicken her pace, maybe if she ran it would feel warmer?

"Therese, Therese?" someone called.

Therese spun around, it was so windy and rainy it was hard to tell where the voice had come from. She turned left, right and then spun around again and then she saw her. Carol, looking windswept and wet wearing a beige rain coat and holding a humungous black umbrella over her head. Therese stared at her for a moment stunned. The absolute shock of seeing Carol here had momentarily taken her breath away and to see Carol out in a storm was unheard of. After a moment's pause she walked forwards, all to aware that she must look like a drowned rat in comparison to Carol.

"Carol, this is a surprise," said Therese, once they met.

"Not un unpleasant one I hope?" asked Carol who kissed Therese's rain stained cheeks.

"No, of course not."

"Well I realised that we hadn't set a time for tomorrow and that I didn't have the number of where you were staying with Dannie, so I thought I would pop bye to see you and ask you." She said all this very quickly, as if she had practised it.

"Oh," said Therese blinking rain out of her eyes and then she involuntarily took a step back as a gust of wind and rain hit her hard.

"Come, I'm parked just over there, maybe we should talk in the car, you already look soaked." Before Therese could answer Carol led her to her car, opened the door and helped Therese in, all the time holding the umbrella above their head. Carol got into the Car too and turned to Therese, her eyes sparkling.

"Therese you are soaked through."

"I'm m m fine," chattered Therese, who felt so cold she was trembling.

Without further ado, Carol put her key in the car and turned the ignition on. The car began to weave its way in and out of traffic at speed.

"W w where are we going?"

"To my flat, we need to get you out of those clothes…and into something else quickly." Carols eyes kept on the road but a faint blush was evident in her cheeks.

Therese didn't say anything. There was no point at arguing and anyway, she wasn't sure she wanted to. Although she felt cold and wet on the outside, a warm glow was making its way through her body internally making her extremely happy. In no time at all they were arriving outside Carol's flat. Carol came around and opened Therese's door and helped her out. Her hand squeezing Therese's.

They didn't speak the whole way up to the flat, not until Carol opened the door and let Therese in.

"Come, this way," said Carol, marching into the bedroom. Therese followed her, somewhat shyly. All the memories of the previous night seemed to be hitting her hard.

Carol switched on the light switch to her bedroom and pulled open a drawer pulling out various clothes.

"Well, they may be a little big for you but at least they will be dry," said Carol, placing the clothes on the bed.

"Thank you, Carol, really," said Therese looking straight into Carol's grey eyes.

"You don't need to thank me darling" said Carol embracing Therese. "God your wet through." They broke apart but Carol's hands lingered on Therese's waist. She sighed. "I'll let you…get changed." She turned to go.

An internal battle was going on inside Therese and she didn't know what to do. But her body seemed to make up its mind. Therese grabbed Carols hand and said "No, don't go."

Carol looked at her, surprised.

"Will you help me?" Therese could feel her cheeks redden and she looked down.

Carol didn't answer. She didn't even move for a minute then, slowly, she walked and stopped behind Therese.

Therese could feel Carol's breaths at the back of her neck. A shiver ran down her spin that had nothing to do with the wet clothes. Then Carol started to undo the buttons on the back of Therese's dress, working her way down her back.

"Arms up then," said Carol, in a silky voice.

Therese obeyed and lifted her arms, allowing Carol to lift and remove the dress over Therese's head. Therese then stood there in nothing but her underwire and stockings. She could feel an electric energy coursing through her. All the hairs on her body seemed to be standing on edge.

"I'll…I'll let you do the rest," said Carol after a long pause.

Was it Therese? Or could she hear the longing in Carol's voice which conveyed exactly what Therese felt. Therese couldn't take it any longer. She spun around to face Carol and her hands flew to Carol's head bringing her into a kiss. Apparently shocked Carol did not react at once. Then she did. Her lips seemed eager to deepen the kiss and Carol moved her body closer to Therese, pushing it against her. Therese moved her head this way and that, trying desperately to kiss as much of Carol as she could, one hand in Carol's hair the other roaming around her figure. First the back, then the waist and then, with a moment of hesitation, her chest. Therese disentangled the hand in Carol's hair and moved the other one to undo the shirt Carol was wearing and then the skirt.

"Are you sure?" whispered Carol's breathless voice in her ear as Therese made a line of kisses down the collar bone of Carol.

In response, Therese tugged open Carol's shirt and in a swift movement unhooked her bra. Then she paused, looked deep in to Carol's eyes and kissed her hard.

"Yes" she replied into Carol's lips.

Therese then pushed Carol lightly on the bed and fell on top of her. She felt a sense of urgency take over her brain an electric, joyous, energy that was also taking over her body. She pressed the high in between Carol's legs as she moved her head down to suck on the breasts before her, the nipples erect. Carol moaned as Therese took one in her mouth. She kissed then sucked at it, her other hand gently massaging the other one as her thigh pressed harder against Carol.

Although Carol was still wearing underwear, Therese could feel a hot wetness growing against her thigh. Therese smiled and moved her lips back to Carol's face. She sucked on her right ear lop then whispered

"Looks like you have wet clothing on too that needs removed."

Carol blushed furiously which only made Therese smile broaden. Therese slipped her fingers down Carol's leg and stopped at her underwear. She paused then pulled them of. She then let her fingers drift slowly upwards. Watching Carol's expression the whole time, then slowly, very slowly she pushed a finger in to Carol's hot, wet, throbbing entrance. Carol gasped, her eyes wide, fixed on Therese. Therese kissed Carol's lips gently then pushed the finger in deeper, then out agonisingly slowly. Carol moaned and put her free hand over her eyes. Therese smiled, then without warning thrust two fingers inside Carol. Carol let out a small scream. Therese pulled them out then thrust them in again hard and fast. She began to rock her body in the same motion, her breasts grinding against Carol's. Carol's hot juices covering Therese's fingers and hands. She continued to thrust, hard. Carol's breath and moans were becoming quicker and faster, until she let out a scream and a shudder, her fingernails clenching Therese's back. They lay there for a minute both panting. Then Carol collapsed next to Therese.

"Well," Carol gasped her eyes wide in shock, "where did that come from?"

Therese opened her mouth to answer but was interrupted by the door bell ringing…


	11. Chapter 11

**NOTE:** Happy New Year!Thank you so much for the reviews, I really love and appreciate reading them all! Hope you all enjoy the update :)

Carol looked at Therese in the dark, a sense of fright registered on her face.

"I don't-" she started but Therese shook her head.

"Yes, you do, go get it."

Carol didn't move for a moment, but the visitor rang again. After one more look at Therese, Carol pushed herself of the bed and slipped on a dressing gown, slippers and left the room, leaving door open just a crack. Therese could hear soft steps of Carol as she walked towards the door, hear the pause that Carol made before she opened the door and hear the door swing open and someone say "Carol, about time, do you know how miserable it is out there?"

It was a familiar voice. A woman's voice. Therese racked her brains. But she didn't need to think for long as Carol answered her unspoken question.

"Abby!" Therese could hear the surprise in Carol's voice just as she could feel her own heart sink.

Abby? Why damned Abby. Always Abby.

"Don't tell me you forgot our little dinner, did you?" Asked Abby. Therese could hear the clip clop as Abby entered the flat, evidently wearing heels.

"Oh, sorry Abby, I..I…" Carol was obviously struggling for words "I'm not feeling too well," she finished, somewhat lamely.

"Don't be a bore Carol, you were fine this morning. Or are you still mopping about Therese?"

Therese, instinctively, sat up, and strained her ears listening. Carol laughed, a little higher than usual.

"No need to blush Carol, but if I've told you once I've said it a hundred times, that girl needs time. She is different than she was. New job, new life. Well, you know all this, why am I repeating it." Abby laughed then continued, "Make me a drink won't you Carol, it's wet and cold and I'm parched."

"Abby, I… Can we not rearrange?"

"No Carol. We can't. You need to pull yourself together. You have been doing so well and I'm not leaving. So splash some water over your face and make me a drink."

"But Abby-" yet she was interrupted by Abby whose voice had grown fierce.

"I'm not leaving, no matter what excuse you are trying to concoct. It doesn't do you any good being alone. You said earlier you wanted cheer. Well here cheer is."

There was a silence, then the clattering of glasses and the sounds of drinks being made. Therese sat there. What on earth was she supposed to do? Carol was evidentially too embarrassed to mention to Abby that Therese was naked in her bed and Therese could not bear the thought of Abby seeing her leave the bedroom. 'Oh God, oh God,' thought Therese, running a hand through her hair. The feeling of elation had evaporated. She now felt, embarrassed, exposed and uncomfortable.

Therese's mind flicked back to moments earlier with Carol. What had made her act in such a way with her? It was usually Carol who took charge of those situations, it had never really been her, and in that aggressive manner. Therese closed her eyes and put her hands over them. Okay, she needed to not think about that and deal with the situation at hand. She needed to get dressed. The idea of Abby storming into the bedroom to find Therese naked stimulated Therese quickly springing from the bed, retrieving the clothes on the floor and pulling them back on.

Now what? Making the bed seemed like a good idea. She could hear Abby and Carol, chinking their glasses together and Abby asking how Carol's work had been going, something, with a pang of guilt, Therese realised, she hadn't asked Carol yet. Therese smoothed out the bed sheet and listened. Their voiced seemed to be getting slightly more distant as if they were going towards the back of the apartment. From there you couldn't quite see the entrance door for the flat. Therese could make a run for it. Her heart was beat fast at the thought. It was possible, certainly possible, yet risky. The seconds trickled away. If she did, there was still the chance that Abby would spot her. Therese's insides squirmed at the thought, but if she didn't and found Therese hiding in Carol's room would that not be worse?

There was nothing for it. Therese put a hand on the door and with the speed of a snail, slowly opened the door, tying desperately not to make a sound. It opened enough for Therese to squeeze out, and she crept along the floor to the large door, being careful not to make a sound. She could hear Abby laughing at something Carol had said. Good, because this was the problem. There would be no way that Carol and Abby would not hear Therese open and close the main door. She would have to do it very, very quickly. Therese took a deep breath and without thinking, jerked open the door, slipped through in a flash and closed it with a snap. Then she ran, almost flying towards the stair case. She hated the idea of waiting for a lift and so ran down the flights of stairs two at a time until she reached outside, panting and sweating. She then adopted a very quick walk in the street barely looking as to where she was going. She saw a yellow cab ahead of her and hailed it. It screeched to a stop and she got in, giving the driver Dannie's address.

Her heart was beating painfully fast and her breaths were short and sharp, but she was out, she felt relieved. She was almost about to laugh she felt so relieved. But something stopped her. A sadness that she couldn't explain.

The cab rattled along, the wind and rain splattering the windows so the outside world was a blur.

"Stop!" yelled Therese.

The taxi screeched to a halt, just a block away from Therese's flat.

"I'll get out here, thanks."

Therese handed over the money and got out the cab. She didn't know why, but for some reason she didn't want to go back to Dannie's, she would go back to her own apartment tonight. She walked along the street, that had so many puddles, it was only a matter of minutes until her feet were wet through. The rain had died down a little but the wind was still harsh and fierce. Shivering, Therese turned into a shop, realising that she had absolutely no food in her flat. She picked up a basket and began piling things in; sausage, tomatoes, pasta, bread, olives, anything that was near.

"Hungry?" asked the smiling, round faced cashier.

"Starved," Therese replied with a little smile.

The man nodded and winked.

"You need to eat, weather like this, keep your strength up."

He handed Therese the groceries, who thanked him and made her way back to the street, and then to her flat. It took her a minute or so to get out the keys to her flat. Was she delaying this? If so why? But when she waked in it was surprising but it didn't feel weird being back for some reason. Freezing, yes but weird? No. Therese went around the flat turning every light switch on as well as the heating. She was determined to make the place cosy and warm. Like a home should be. She turned on the stove and busied her felt with making a pasta sauce, the soft sizzling sound of the sausage and the smell of frying onions making her feel comforted.

She wasn't sure what she felt at the moment. Part of her was in shock as to what had just happened with Carol, another part was sad, because what had happened between them hadn't been love exactly, it had been lust. It was like she needed to be in control with Carol, rough with her even, to show what? Therese was unsure. But now? She felt different, less tense and no longer angry. Frustrated? A little, Abby's interruption was just so damn typical, but she couldn't put her finger on what she felt, because things just were not clear.

However, what was clear, was that she did not want to think about it because she knew tomorrow would be a different story. She was supposed to be seeing Carol tomorrow. And the idea of not seeing her would be too much. Carol. What on earth would Carol think when she realised Therese had snuck out? Therese, for the second time that evening could not help but giggle at the absurdity of that situation. True it was far from funny but at the same time what a silly predicament to have landed herself into. She could just imagine Carol's shocked expression when Abby would, undoubtable ask had caused the sound of the door snapping shut as Therese had left. 'I wonder what Carol will say', thought Therese as she added a large pinch of salt to the sauce.

While it was simering she called Danny, telling him she would not be back that evening.

"Why?" he asked, his voice suspicious.

"Oh, just going through some photos." The lie came so easily, she could tell she had convince, or at least, semi-convinced Danny.

She went back to the pasta sauce and stirred. It smelt good. She then poured much more pasta in the boiling water than necessary. It would all be ready in ten minutes, that was just enough time to have a hot shower and get some warm comfy clothes on. She went into the bathroom, stripped down and turned on the shower. The water was so hot it almost burned but Therese did not care. It felt so, so good to finally feel warmth. She stood there for a long moment, just letting the water wash the day away.

BUZZ, BUZZ, BUZZ.

Was that her door? The buzzing continued. Damn it.

She turned off the water, stepped out the shower and put on her rob. Then went to the door and picked up the receiver.

"Hello?"

"Therese?"

Therese's heart stopped.

"Carol?"

"Of course it's me. Let me in, will you?"

Therese replaced the receiver and buzzed her in. Oh no, oh no, oh no. The momentary calm Therese had felt in the shower had disappeared. Why had Carol come? Was Abby with her? Would Carol be annoyed? But there was no time to think of anything else, Therese could hear Carol's steps on the stairs and then a knock at her door. Therese breather in, then opened it.

Carol stood there, no longer in a robe, but fully dressed, looking wet, windswept but radiant. Therese gestured wordlessly for Carol to enter which she did, taking her raincoat of and hanging it up.

"I went to Dannie's first and he told me you were here," said Carol, as if explaining herself.

"Yes, I, I don't know why I came here," she said truthfully. Carol nodded

"Well it smells good."

"Yes, I'm making dinner," replied Therese, somewhat awkwardly. Then she cleared her throat. "Your dinner with Abby went quickly."

"We didn't go," replied Carol, walking into the kitchen and stirring the vat of sauce.

"Oh, how come?"

"Because I told her I needed to find you."

Carol looked deep into Therese's eyes. "I can't let you go a second time."

Therese felt her heart leap. She didn't say anything for a moment, letting the words sink in, then she replied "Look Carol, I get it, you have a lot going on though."

Carol took Therese's hand and stroked it.

"I do, it's true, but you are my priority. I need you Therese. I'm not losing you again. I can't lose you again."

Therese looked up at Carol, into her fiery eyes. They were so strong, so sincere. Therese couldn't help but kissed Carol. It was a soft gentle kiss, that said things that words couldn't.

The water began to splutter and bubble over on to the stove. Therese turned to it removing it from the heat and draining it, her checks red.

"Would you like some dinner? I think I have made enough for a small army," she laughed, nervously.

Carol smiled a wonderful smile, "That sounds marvellous. I'm starved."


	12. Chapter 12

Therese awoke with the light streaming in through a crack in the curtains on to her eyes. She felt so warm, so cosy, so happy that she didn't move for a couple minutes. She lay there, waiting for her brain to come back to speed. She yawned, blinked a couple times and rolled over. And then she realised. Realised why she felt so content and happy. For she had not woken up alone.

There Carol lay, her clear grey eyes twinkling at her in the morning light, her hair messy and untidy and resting on her bare shoulders. Therese could feel the smile building up as her heart beat a little more quickly as Carol opened her mouth and said softly "morning sleepy head."

"Morning," replied Therese.

She reached for Carol and stroked her shoulder. She could not quite believe she was here, at last. It didn't feel real, more like a dream.

"Have you been up long?"

"About twenty minutes or so," came Carol's gently reply as she stroked Therese's face with her elegant hand, her fingers lightly brushing over her lips.

"You should have woken me, sorry."

"Why would I have woken you? You looked so peaceful and relaxed, like all the troubles of the world had disappeared. You looked like an angel."

She moved forwards so they were barley an inch apart and continued, "Besides, it has been too long since I have watched you sleep, I've missed it."

Carol smiled and her lips brushed against Therese's in a gently sweet kiss.

"Hey, I wasn't done," said Therese playfully and she brought her hands through Carol's hair and pulled the woman closer and back into the kiss. She could feel Carol's mouth smile beneath hers as she kissed her.

Then she could also feel her stomach rumble, something that Carol hear too. Therese blushed but Carol laughed.

"You need breakfast."

"No, I'm fine," lied Therese, wanting to lie in bed for as long as possible with Carol, but her stomach growled again.

"Darling, you will be starving, seeing as we never even got around to eating what promised to have been a perfect dinner last night. And we didn't exactly sleep much now, did we?"

Carol smirked a little and Therese's blush deepened. It was true, they had plated up dinner the evening before, when one thing had led to another and they had ended up in bed tangled in each other's arms. Not that Therese would have changed that for the world but now she was beginning to realise her hunger.

"Sustenance is needed," prompted Carol, who slipped out of Therese's embrace, out the bed and stood up, wrapping herself in Therese's robe. "I'm going to take a shower and then I am taking you for breakfast." She then turned with a smile and left the room.

Therese smiled and rolled over in the bed. She breathed in deeply, she could smell Carol's scent lingering on the sheet, the warmth of where she had just laid. Therese breathed out she hadn't realised how tense and uptight she had been feeling, now she felt like she was in bliss. So happy, so euphoric.

Therese slipped out of bed and pulled the sheets back. She looked around her room smiling. Her and Carol's clothes lay scattered around. Flashbacks of the night came flooding back to her as if she were being hit by a wave. The long look, their heads moving closer and then the kiss that had started of the night. The kiss that had led to Carol desperately tearing at Therese's clothes, to the pair stumbling in to te bedroom and to Therese pushing Carol roughly on to the bed. Therese felt a thrill of pleasure at the thought. It had all lead to Carol's fierce and passionate kisses to her panting and moaning in her arms and to Therese waking up next to Carol in the morning.

Therese smiled as Carol came through the door, her hair wet and combed back, her figure wrapped in a white towel.

"Carol, now that is just plain mean," said Therese, giving Carol a stern look.

Carol's eyes flashed with surprise and concern.

"What do you mean?" she said quickly

"You looking like that, how am I supposed to resist you?"

Carol's face relaxed and a mischievous glint came into her eyes. "Well, maybe that was my intention. Maybe I don't want you to resist me."

Therese didn't waste any time, she took the three step towards Carol and reached for the towel, but Carol held on to it.

"Breakfast first."

She smiled at the look of indignatio on Therese's face and pecked her on the nose.

With a huge amount of will power, twenty minutes later Therese was sat in Carol's car driving to Carol's flat. Carol had insisted that they stop by so that she could change into some fresh clothes and do her make up. Therese new Carol too well to dispute this and so the pair of them drove up to Madison drive, parked outside and went up to the flat. Carol unlocked the door and turning to Therese Carol said "I won't be too long, there are some magazines around to amuse yourself, then I promise a good breakfast."

"Sure, sure," said Therese looking around.

The flat somehow felt a lot more welcoming now than it had done before. Maybe it was because there was no longer a sense of anticipation in the air or tension, but Therese felt that it appeared warmer and friendly. She walked over towards the huge windows at the opposite side of the flat in which Carol had placed a large mahogany writing desk looking out on to the busy street below. Therese brushed a finger over the smooth wood. How good Carol was at picking furniture. She, Therese, could honestly say she knew very little about furniture, but all the same, she could not deny that Carol had impeccable taste.

She looked at the table, which had a stack of letters sprawled across it when she spotted it. Her name, on one of the letters, that was half sticking out of an envelope. Therese frowned. Her hand twitched, but she stopped herself. These letters had nothing to do with her, she should not look. That would be a breach of privacy. The seconds trickled by. I mean, it did have her name on it. It wouldn't really be that bad… 'No Therese, don't,' said a voice in her head. Her name seemed to glare up at her from the letter, daring her not to look. Damn. She hesitated, then tentatively reached towards the letter. It was written in a loopy scrawl, very unlike Carol's writing. Her eyes swept across it when it came across:

 _My dearest, I know how you must agonise over the situation with Rindy and Therese but I promise things will be okay. It is impossibly hard to lose who or what you love (you of all people must know that I understand exactly how that must feel), yet know I am here, always. I will not deny that I can be overbearing sometimes and hard with you but it is because I love you. I love you._

 _Abby x_

Therese stared at the letter, her heart racing. 'I will not deny that I can be overbearing sometimes and hard with you but it is because I love you. I love you.' What did that mean? Did Abby mean as a friend or as something more? Therese felt the clogs in her head spinning at a alarming rate, then she heard Carol footsteps approaching. Quickly, at the speed of light, Therese stuffed the letter back into the envelope and threw it back on the pile then, picking up a magazine from the neighbouring coffee table at random, opened it up and sat quickly on to the sofa, pretending to be deep in thought as Carol entered.

Therese looked up, her cheeks slightly red.

"Found something good to read?" asked Carol smiling.

Therese forced a smile in return and replied, "Yes, yes I did."


	13. Chapter 13

**Note:** Thank you so much for the reviews. Things have been very busy recently so sorry that they are a little slow in coming out. Really hope you enjoy this. Look forward to hearing from you. Thanks :)

"Are you going to tell me what it is?"

"Huh?" replied Therese, awoken out of a day dream.

Carol looked discreetly around before placing the tips of her fingers on Therese's hand.

"You look spaced out. Like something is seriously bothering you."

"Nothing is bothering me, nothing at all," replied Therese quickly. A little too quickly.

Carol frowned, her eyes scrutinising Therese in a way that was so uncomfortable Therese squirmed in her seat. To avoid looking at those eyes Therese directed her gaze down at her coffee cup. Carol and Therese had gone to breakfast, walked around a gallery and now were having a coffee, in short, they had had the perfect morning and yet…Therese could not shake off the letter.

She had told herself it meant nothing. I mean here was the evidence, Carol was with her not Abby….but still. What had it meant? Was Carol keeping something from her? But, why should she? Did Carol still have feelings for Abby? No…but she had. Therese knew that fine and well, there had been a time where Abby had been her everything. Could those feelings really have just vanished? It was impossible to say, but a nagging feeling inside Therese doubted very much if those feelings would suddenly just go. Even in the time she and Carol had been separated Therese had barley even begun to fathom getting over Carol. It was just impossible. To imagine a life without the love she felt for Carol seemed so distant, so alien.

But what if Carol had gotten over Abby? She could have but that didn't mean that Abby had gotten over Carol. What if Abby never got over Carol and that she was still in love with her now? Would Carol one day get rid of Therese in the same as she had Abby? Would she get over Therese as she had gotten over Abby? Without much thought. Maybe it was easy for Carol to get over people. She didn't seem to have any feelings left for Harge even though she had been in love with him and if she didn't love Abby any more, well she was just another one to get over. Would Carol do the same to her? Would Therese one day be sending Carol letters and pretending to just be her friend whilst Carol took some younger woman out to breakfast and coffee after having spent the night with her. And what then? Therese would just have to deal with it.

"Earth to Therese? What is it?"

Carol's voice seemed to penetrate Therese's dazed thoughts. Therese blinked a couple times and looked back up at Carol who was watching her, her eyes concerned.

"Sorry Carol, I'm just, just," Therese cast her mind for a good excuse "Sleepy," she said at least and took another sip of coffee.

"Are you sure it is that and not something else?" Carol probed, her fingers still lingering lightly on Therese's own hand.

"Like what?" Therese asked, determined not to give anything away.

"Like…" began Carol, her voice turning into a whisper. She leaned forward "everything that happened last night."

"Oh, err, no," Therese could feel herself blush.

"Are you sure? You haven't seemed yourself since this leaving my apartment this morning."

Carol took a sip of coffee. She looked like she had something to say but was struggling to. The corners of her mouth turned to a frown. She took another sip then continued.

"Therese, if this is going too fast for your liking, we can…slow it down. You know I'll wait. If this is what is concerning you then it's no trouble. I don't want you to think that just because of last night things need to be like 'that' between us."

Therese felt her cheeks burn.

"No, last night was great. I mean, it was for me anyway."

Why was she so embarrassed to say this, why?

"You're not worried that I didn't enjoy myself, are you?" asked Carol. Therese could hear the smile in Carol's voice. "I would have thought that you could tell that I thoroughly enjoyed last night," she said placing an emphasis on the later part of the sentence that, despite how Therese was feeling, made her smile.

"There is it, the famous smile, about time too, I was worried it had left for good."

Carol moved her foot up the side of Therese's calf.

"Now, are you better or do I need to keep asking you a hundred questions?"

Therese smiled more openly. She was being stupid, worrying about Abby when Carol was right there before her. It was silly. She should be enjoying every minute of today. A day they would get to spend just with them.

Therese picked up her napkin and dabbed at the sides of her mouth.

"Yes, I'm happy. So where to next?"

"Well," said Carol, evidently cheered by Therese's changed expression, "I haven't showed you the furniture shop yet, have I?

"No, you haven't, will you take me?"

"Exactly. I want to show you my world now."

Ten minutes later they were walking into a furniture shop unlike any other Therese had seen. It wasn't brown and dull on the outside, but painted duck egg blue, and filled with what looked like predominantly French and Italian furniture, giving of a rococo and baroque style. It was elegant, but not exuberant. Classy yet not presumptuous. It was Carol to the core, graceful and beautiful whilst also being welcoming and playful.

"So, what do you think?" Asked Carol, watching Therese's reaction.

Therese stared at the shop a moment longer before turning to Carol. "It's wonderful, absolutely beautiful, but then again, I would have expected any less from you."

Carol beamed and led Therese inside.

"You don't know how much that means to me. I've been wanting you to see this place since I started working here. And I have news for you, but maybe I will be beaten by telling you by someone else."

Therese frowned. "By who?"

But Carol was spared answering by a voice saying, "Carol, Therese! How wonderful!"

"Abby!" Said Therese in surprise.

Abby came bounding up to them, her auburn hair bouncing up and down as she moved. She kissed them both on them on the cheek, lingering on Carol's a fraction of a second longer than she did Therese.

"So, have you told her the good news yet?" Abby asked, her eyes dancing as she looked at Carol.

"No Abby darling, not yet, I did say that you would probably beat me too it."

Abby took Carol's hand and gripped it tightly, then turning to Therese said, "You'll know of course that Carol became a buyer, well what you won't know, and what was only finalised yesterday very recently is that we, that is to say Carol and I, are the sole owners of the shop now! How great is that?!"

"Oh, wow, yeah, fantastic news!" said Therese trying desperately to look as happy as Carol and Abby and trying not to look at Abby's hand around Carol's.

"It is great isn't it? I mean there was someone else in charge and we bought him out of his share so now it is ours!"

"This is really, really something," said Therese, smiling at Carol, who looked buoyant.

"It is!" continued Abby "It's so great to be in _our_ shop. It's been our dream to have our own company again, hasn't it Carol?"

"It sure has darling."

"It will be just like old times," she continued enthusiastically, apparently forgetting Therese was there and putting her full attention on Carol "spending all day together, going on funky road trip to battered places in the middle of nowhere, flirting with all the customers, ha!"

Therese did not like the sound of that. Not one bit. But she kept the smiled glued to her face however, the corners of her mouth were beginning to hurt.

"Have a look around darling," said Carol to Therese, "I just need to go through a couple things with Abby, it won't take a minute, then I think a nice lunch is in order."

"Yeah, sure sure."

Therese, wanted to hear exactly what they were saying but she couldn't well just stand there. She took a few steps away and pretended to be examining a gold gilt mirror. She could just hear a few words that were being said.

"Received…yet…not time….means a lot." Was all that she caught from Carol.

Could that be about the letter? Therese moved again this time to look at a chest of drawers that were painted a faded white colour. She reached for the brass handle of one of the drawers and opened it concentrating hard, this time on Abby's reply.

"Hasn't changed….great girl….the same though."

What was being said? Therese desperately strained her ears, but at that moment, the door opened and the bell above it rang loudly as a gust of wind blew in, followed by a chatty couple in their thirties who were exclaiming loudly at the beauty of the store. Therese turned and saw Abby smile at the customers and then go bustling up to them.

"Did you get a good look at things?" asked Carol, who had appeared at her shoulder.

"Oh, yeah, I did. Everything in here is great. Beautifully selected," replied Therese closing the drawer and turning to Carol.

"That is the right answer darling," replied Carol brushing Therese's hand with her own. "What do you say to lunch. Then how about the cinema? If you haven't guessed already, I want to do as much with you as possible today."

"Sounds great," said Therese

"Bye you two, have a nice day," called Abby after them as Carol opened the door or the shop for them to leave.

Therese looked back and waved. Was it Therese? Or did Abby just give her a look that said quite plainly. 'I'll be nice to you, but I don't like you around Carol. Not at all.'


	14. Chapter 14

**Note:** Thank you so much for the reviews, I really love reading them :). Hope you enjoy the update and look forward to hearing from you!

"Well that was a little over dramatic, don't you think?" asked Carol as they walked out of the cinema, a cold breeze meeting them as they walked down the icy street.

"I suppose it was," replied Therese who in all honestly had barely noticed what had happened in the film she had been so preoccupied with images of Abby and Carol.

Carol turned to face Therese.

"Therese, are you going to tell me what is wrong or will I have to guess?"

So, Carol had noticed. Damn. Therese had tried to remain cheerful at lunch and not distracted. She had tried her best to ignore the sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach all whilst they had walked to the cinema. She had tried to keep the conversation going, to sound relaxed but Carol had notice and wanted to know why. What could Therese say without sounding paranoid and jealous?

"Nothing," was that really the best she could come up with? She shuddered against the cold and before Carol could reply said "Where is your car parked again? I'm freezing."

"Yes, you look it. Well it's this way," said Carol, gesturing ahead of them. Therese could feel Carol's eyes on her and knew that more questions were going to be thrown at her.

"So," said Carol once they were in the car, "Where am I going?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, am I going to your apartment or am I going to my own. Am I dropping you off at your apartment or will I be allowed to come up with you? Or will you be spending the night with me or alone?"

"Oh, um, I don't mind."

"You don't mind? Well that is reassuring," said Carol somewhat sarcastically. "Maybe you need time alone?"

Carol put the key in the ignition. Therese turned to look out the window. She blinked furiously but it was no good, a tear fell from her eye, and rolled down her cheek.

"I don't want to be alone."

She couldn't stop it now, the tears rans fast and thick. She desperately tried to wipe them away, but as her hand reached up to her eyes it made contact with Carol's who had pulled out a handkerchief. Carol's grey eyes were on her own, her brow was furrowed and there was a look of pain in her usually calm eyes.

"Oh Therese, what is this?"

Therese spluttered, "please don't leave me Carol. I don't want to be alone."

"Oh, darling, darling" said Carol in a gently spoofing voice, a hand running through Therese's hair "You are not alone. You will never be alone. Unfortunately for you are going to be stuck with me."

Despite herself, Therese hiccupped a laugh.

"Really?"

"Darling, do you really need to ask? The problematic thing is that I am, desperately, desperately in love with you," said Carol, pressing her lips against Therese's cheeks as she dabbed the tears away.

Therese bite her lip. "There really is no one else?"

Carol's expression of concern and pain turned to one of surprise, an eyebrow raised.

"Who else would there be?"

Therese hesitated for a moment before replying "Abby."

"Abby?" and Carol actually laughed. "Oh, no darling, I love Abby as a _friend_ but as a friend only. I thought you knew that."

"You're…I mean you are sure?"

"Oh, my goodness, is this why you have been so unhappy today? You think that there is still something between Abby and myself? Where did you get this idea from?"

Therese gulped. She had hoped that Carol would not ask this, for it meant that Therese would either have to admit that she had read a personal letter of Carol's or lie. What was worse?

"Okay…please don't get mad," started Therese, "but when I was waiting for you this morning I…well…I didn't mean to, I really didn't. I just, I saw it and I saw my name and I, I shouldn't have but I did."

"Therese darling, you are going to have to be a bit more specific. What did you see?"

Therese took a deep breath in. She had started it already, she might as well just say it.

"I saw a letter. I saw my name in it and I was curious so I…I read it, well part of it." Therese did not look at Carol, she couldn't so she hurried on. "It was from Abby, and she mentioned my name and she said that she would always be there for you and that she…that she loved you."

Therese looked up. The windows in the car had all steamed up and the key was still limply in the ignition, unturned but Therese's eyes were searching for Carol's.

"You read my letter?" asked Carol. Her voice was unreadable.

"Not all of it, just the part with my name on it. I'm so so, sorry Carol, I know I shouldn't have, it was just lying on the table and I saw my name and well, I only read that bit."

"And you think that Abby and I are lovers?" Again, the tone of her voice was unreadable.

Therese didn't know what to say. She looked at Carol. Had she just ruined everything?

"I don't know…"

"Therese, you really think that after all we have been through, after all we are going through now that I would just drop you and that I would secretly be seeing Abby? How does that make sense?"

"I know you two have a past." Therese had adverted her eyes downwards to her lap.

"Yes Therese, a past, a past being the operative word. It is not the present or the future it is the past." Carol placed her hand on Therese's. "I love Abby, I love her as a friend. We had a time when we were more. It didn't work. It changed. Things change. It was very different from what you and I are. Very different." Therese could feel Carol's eyes were fixed onto Therese. "Therese, it's you. It's been you since that day in the store. Maybe I didn't realise it then, or weeks after it, but God do I realise it now," and before Therese could answer Carol had leaned forward and parted her lips and moved them against Therese's. Then she moved back.

"So, Therese. Let me ask you again. Where are, we going?"

Therese smiled. "Let's go back to your apartment."

The drive didn't was quick so it wasn't long until they were at outside Carol's flat. They both got out the car and up to her flat quickly, an unspoken agreement to have some privacy at last. For the first-time Therese felt some certainty. She had always known how strong her feelings were for Carol but she had never been completely sure of how Carol felt for her. She still wasn't sure what exactly Carol felt but she felt she was getting there and that there was at last a little more security in their for relationship.

Carol shut the door as they entered the flat. She switched on a light and then turned to Therese, simultaneously dropping her bag to the floor. She extended her hand towards Therese which Therese accepted and Carol pulled her in and embraced her.

"Oh, how I love to do this," she said, her head resting on Therese's shoulder as she spoke into her ear. "You know, it still feels so unreal and new this, you and me, I can't quite believe we are here, that we are together."

"Nor can I," replied Therese. It felt so good and comforting holding Carol back, like her arms were meant to fit Carol.

"I know it won't be easy and that we have much to talk about and to catch up on but we will get there. I am determined that we will get there. We have a new start, together."

Therese smiled and gently brushed her lips against Carol's cotton soft checks.

"Perhaps…perhaps we have done enough talking today?" asked Carol, a slight note of hesitancy in her voice.

"Perhaps you are right," agreed Therese, her smile growing. Therese pulled back of the embrace slightly, so she was nose to nose with Carol.

"You are so beautiful, my darling," said Carol, stroking Therese's cheek.

"No I am not, my eyes are botchy, my nose is red, I look horrible."

"You could never look horrible, you are beautiful. My beautiful angel."

Carol lent forward and kissed her. Her lips were gentle against Therese's at first soft and coaxing, light and playful then, moving more quickly, the kiss became passionate and urgent. Soon Carol's lips were on Therese's neck, her ear lobe.

Therese's mind went numb. She reached for Carol and put a hand in her hair, moving her mouth back to her's. Therese kissed Carol back, a frenzy seeming to take over her as her heart beat hard and loud against her chest. Carol broke apart from Therese, then wordlessly turned her back to her. What the? But Therese soon realised what she was doing. Carol slipped out of her heels and pulled her stockings down with one elegant hand. She then threw them off her and left them on the floor. She took a few more steps away from Therese and to her bedroom door and shook off her scarf along with her skirt, so that they too lay scattered on the floor. She then walked through the door, but not before she had thrown her shirt on the floor. Therese smiled and followed, her eyes glued to the bedroom door.


	15. Chapter 15

**NOTE:** Hello everyone! Sorry I haven't been on in so long, life has been crazy busy. This is a slightly shorter one today but I hope you enjoy it. Thank you so much for all your comments, I love reading them. Hope you all have a great weekend :)

….

Therese rolled over and opened her eyes. She knew before she opened them that everything was right. There was a warm glow inside her, not like before, it felt purer somehow and secure… Like it had always been there but it was only now that she could feel it. Before she could move she felt fingers caress her bare shoulder. They moved gentle up to her neck, her chin, her lips. She smiled and rolled over, facing the owner of those tender fingers.

"Morning"

"Morning," replied Therese a little throatily, "last night-" but before she could answer Carol had leaned close and kissed her half-opened mouth. Carol didn't stop, she leant in close to Therese, so that Carol's bare breasts pushed against Therese's. Desire shot through Therese's body like a bullet so that her body, which moments ago, had felt so sleepy and relaxed was now energised, alert. Her heart beat quickened as Carol moved her mouth from Therese's lips to her neck then moving ever closer she sucked her ear lobe, whether accidentally or on purpose moaning into her ear. That did it. Therese could barely control herself. She pushed Carol down and went on top of her, her thighs straddling Carol's. Carol looked up at her, her grey eyes, usually calm seemed to be full of desire, willing Therese to take charge. Therese smiled ready to take the challenge and bent down pressing her lips against Carol's breasts….

…..

"Why is it…" said Carol, half an hour later, wearing a loosely tied a silk robe with a cigarette positioned between her fingers, "that smoking is so much more pleasurable after sex?" She looked out the window while she spoke, apparently staring out at the morning sun rising.

Carol took a drag and blew out a silver stream of smoke, sighing.

"This," she said lazily waving her hand, "has got to be one of the best cigarettes I've had in a while and why? They are the same ones I usually have. I haven't been particularly craving one. No, it has to be because of sex."

Therese blushed before saying "maybe it's because you're so relaxed afterwards," she could feel her cheeks continue to redden, but Carol only smiled.

"Maybe that's true," said Carol taking another deep inhale of the cigarette before stubbing it out on a class ash tray, "or maybe" and as she spoke she walked slowly back to the bed to where Therese was lying, still naked, draped under the sheets. "Just maybe, it's because I just had incredible, astoundingly wonderful sex with you and so there is an aftertaste of bliss in everything as a result…'

She winked and stroked Therese's cheek, apparently enjoying Therese looking extremely embarrassed. "How did you get so good by the way? And please don't say it was because of that Richard."

Therese didn't know if it was possible to blush any deeper than she was already although she couldn't deny that she rather enjoyed how Carol praised her and how she said Richards name disdainfully. It had been so difficult when Carol, not so long ago, had been so keen to keep Therese and him together.

"I couldn't tell you that," said Therese, putting a sly edge to her voice, that made Carol frown.

The frown was just a humorous one at first until it changed into the real thing. Sitting on the bed Carol turned to Therese.

"Has there been anyone since, well," and she hesitated, as if she didn't know how to phrase the question, "since I left you?"

Was it Therese or did it seem like it was painful for Carol to say those last few words? As if the memory of her leaving Therese was on hard on her as it was for Therese.

"When you mean anyone, do you mean sex?"

Carol's eyes widened, apparently, she had not been expecting this sort of answer.

"Or anything else along those lines…has there, been anyone?"

Carol had looked away and was fumbling for another cigarette. Therese didn't answer.

"Well?" asked Carol he voice sounding more on edge.

"What would you do if I said yes?"

Carol didn't answer immediately, she took a drag on her cigarette.

"Do? What could I do? Nothing. It would be more what I would think, what I would feel?"

"And?"

"Oh, for Christs sake Therese do you even need to ask?"

Therese felt taken aback. She pulled up the sheets a little. The warm glowing feeling in the room seemed to be diminishing. Therese felt the heat in her cheeks disappear as quickly as it had come. She looked down at her the sheet, unsure what to say.

"Darling," Said Carol with a long sigh. She reached out an ivory hand to take Therese's. "I'm sorry to have snapped, I just. Just…" But Carol took another draw of her cigarette, before continuing. "I am annoyed because I couldn't be annoyed if you had or have been with anyone else, after all it would be my doing. My fault. How could I blame you? Well I couldn't. Oh but how I would dislike that. No, much more than that. If truth be told I would loath it. To imagine you with someone else, someone else's hands and arms around you. Someone else who could hold you laugh with you, wake up to your smile and…" Carol pressed Therese's hand tighter lent forward and brushed her lips against Therese, "kiss you as many times and they would like all because I left you, when I dint want to. I would find that difficult."

Therese felt her heart ache. She leant forward and kissed Carol, first on her checks her head and then tentatively on her soft lips. Then she pulled back so that they were nose to nose.

"I haven't been with anyone Carol."

Carol stared at her and then slowly, very slowly her smile reappeared growing as her eyes brightened the frown vanishing.

"In that case," said Carol, placing a hand on Therese's check "I have a question for you. I have asked you it before, but I'm hoping the answer will be a very different one."

"Oh yes…and what's that?" Therese could feel her palms sweating, she thought she knew what Carol was going to ask but would she ask? Would she really? Therese waited with baited breath her eyes never leaving Carol's.

"Will you, Miss Belivet, consider moving in with me?"


	16. Chapter 16

**NOTE:** Thank you for all your reviews and comments. I absolutely love, love, love reading them :) Hope you all have a great weekend.

"Do you really want this, it's damned heavy?" asked Carol as she attempted to pick up an old battered trunk.

"Since when have you every lifted anything heavy, Carol? I don't think you have the best perception of that," laughed Therese "You do realise the weight of the item is irrelevant as I will hire removal men."

Carol rolled her eyes. "So, what do you have in here that makes it weigh like a pile of bricks?"

"Oh, only my deepest darkest secrets, and a few bricks for good measure," laughed Therese.

"May I?" Asked Carol, her hands now on the clasps of the trunk.

"By all means," answered Therese.

Therese turned to the wardrobe and propped a chair against it, so that she could reach for the box of hats on top of it. How did she have so much stuff? She still couldn't believe that only a few hours ago, she had agreed to live with Carol. She could not stop smiling. She felt at least things were getting on the right tracks. It seemed at the time she had stunned Carol too, as Carol had stared at her open mouthed…

"You really will live with me?" she asked after a long moment, her eyes glued to Therese's.

Therese laughed "I assume that is the answer you would like this time?" It was too difficult not to tease, so rarely was Carol shocked to the point of being unable to speak.

"Oh my God, yes yes! Let's go to your flat and pack your things now," Said Carol once she had found her tongue.

And so here they were now.

Therese stretched for the box, her fingers brushing it's tips. The chair wobbled.

She felt a hand on her back, and Carol's voice say "Gentle my sweet. A fine thing it would be if you fell and ended up in a back brace before you even move in."

"Mmmm true," replied Therese, turning around and climbing of the chair, she wrapped her arms around Carol's wait. "But it would have a few benefits."

"Such as?"

"You would have to wait on me, bring me food, drinks, and more." Therese blushed and looked down.

"Mmmm I guess that would be enjoyable, yet…it would limit you physically, and well, I have a lot of physical activity planned for you."

Before Therese could answer. Carol leaned forwards and their lips met. At first, she just pressed her lips against Therese as if going in for a fleeting kiss, yet before the kiss broke, she placed a hand in Therese's hair and pulled her closer, deepening the kiss, her mouth warm and wet. Therese felt the familiar feeling of butterfly's flutter inside her as she pulled at Carol's waist, reducing the space between them. Her lips responded to Carol's with an intensity that seemed to be overwhelming her. She was breathless, panting. Carol's silky perfumed scent was heavy in the air. Then Carol broke apart.

"What?" asked Therese confused, she felt hot and knew she was flushed. Carol smiled a wicked smile and moved back to the trunk.

"Just a taster of how we will christen your welcoming to _our_ flat."

"You are cruel."

"True," answered Carol with an ambivalent air "but you love me."

"Also, true," answered Therese, shaking her head and sitting on the chair.

"You have left me light headed Carol."

"Mmmm that was the aim. Come, let's go through this. You have intrigued me. My mysterious girl."

Carol bent back down to the trunk. She pressed on the clasps, and they sprang open with a click. She pushed the lid up and reached inside.

Therese looked inside and she felt the butterflies merge into and anxious knot in the pit of her stomach. What was in here again? She had stored a lot of things in here when she had first moved in, and then hidden it away. But what was it all? Things that she had blocked from her mind, things that she didn't want to have to deal with. Maybe she had been too hasty to let Carol go through it.

"Camera's, now there is a surprise" laughed Carol, as she picked up an old camera's that was chipped and scratched. There were a few more that were scattered in the case. None of them were good, some were even broken, but Therese had been unable to discard them. She had always loved camera's and they were part of her, part of her identity, or what she strived her identity to be.

"And pictures."

"They are hopeless. I took these a while ago."

Therese spared a glance at them. Most of them were of objects and landscapes, apart from one. A woman. Therese's knot of anxiety tensed as Carol reached up and picked it up.

Therese saw the way that Carol's eyes frowned, how the lines around them deepened. She looked up at Therese and then back to the picture.

"This is your mother, isn't it." It wasn't a question.

"Yes, it is." Said Therese, taking the picture and then pushing it deeper in the case. "I really should get rid of this."

"Do you miss her?"

"No. Not at all. I don't think of her"

"Not ever?"

"No." Lied Therese. She reached for the lid and shut it with a snap.

"Would you not like to see her again?"

"See her again?" and Therese shook her head. She bit her cheeks. "She doesn't want to see me. Why should I waste time on someone who has no interest in me?"

"Things could have changed though?"

Why was Carol being so persistent. It wasn't anything like her and Rindy, Therese seriously doubted in her mother had felt one tenth as what Carol felt for Rindy.

"Well they haven't. I haven't heard from her in God Knows how long, and I have no desire too. I told you this before. It is unimportant. I asked her not to write. I got my two hundred dollars at seventeen and that was the last time I heard from her." She felt the formality in her tone, could hear how her voice had taken a cold edge to it, cold like her mother. But she didn't cry this time. She felt numb to it now.

"Alright darling, alright." Carol squeezed her shoulder than stood up. "As excited as I am to pack your things and have you move in at once, why don't you just grab what you need for a couple more days until we organise the removal men?"

Therese took a deep breath and nodded. It helped. She stood up and filled the suitcase Carol had given her with some clothes and books and of course, her camera.

"Look Carol, I'm sorry I shouldn't-"

But Carol pressed a finger to Therese's lips, and silenced her with a kiss.

"There is no need to apologise. I'm sorry I brought it up."

Carol walked to the door and swung it open "Now the only thing I want you to worry about now is where can we get the finest bottle of champagne to celebrate this evening."

Despite herself Therese smiled. Carol always made her smile, even when she didn't want too.

Therese picked up the suitcase and walked through the door.

"Oh, wait darling," said Carol stooping as she picked up a stack of letters on the floor, she passed them to Therese "you better take these with us, and make remember to change your address with the postal office."

Carol continued to speak, but Therese could barely hear her as her eyes, her whole attention was now focused on the envelop before her. An envelope that had her name written slopping writing she knew all too well...


	17. Chapter 17

Note: Sorry for the delay. Hope you enjoy this one. I have merged the movie and the book a little bit. Thanks for the comments, I love reading them! :)

"Carol?" Said Therese, passing Carol a coffee.

"Yes?"

"There is something I need to tell you."

Carol, looked up at Therese and put her magazine on country furniture down. She was sat on the egg shell blue sofa a silk nightdress.

"Is it serious?" She asked.

Therese pondered the question. "Not exactly," she answered, although she could tell her voice was unconvincing.

Carol took a sip of coffee, "what is it?"

"Ok, well, yesterday…You know when you gave me my post in my flat?"

"Yes…"

"Well, there was a letter, in there, from, well from my mother."

"Your mother?" Therese could hear the surprise in Carol's voice but she didn't look up at her, instead she looked hard at her hands.

"Yes."

"I see."

"She is in New York."

"Now?"

"Yes."

"Oh."

"I know. She wants to meet up."

Therese then looked at Carol who took another sip of coffee and then put her mug down. Therese was not sure what Carol was thinking, her face was unreadable which always meant that Carol was thinking of something she wanted to hide.

"What do you want to do?"

"Well, I only said yesterday that I want nothing to do with her…"

"Before you got the letter."

"Yes, before I got the letter."

"And now?"

"My feelings haven't changed."

"I'm sure they haven't."

"But, well." Said Therese, struggling for words. "I don't know."

"It isn't an easy decision." Said Carol.

"It''s not. But why should I have to see her? I don't owe her anything. She left me, not the other way around. Not that I care, I don't, not anymore, I just, I just - Oh I don't know Carol."

Carol extended a hand which Therese took. She could feel the warmth in it. Carol pulled Therese over to sit with her on the sofa.

"Why didn't you mention this last night?" asked Carol softly, stroking her hair.

"I didn't want to spoil our first proper night together, with me moving in. Well instead I'm ruining our first proper morning together, oh Carol, I am sorry."

"Shhh, don't be sorry darling. I always want you to talk to me about things that are bothering you, no matter what the occasion is, ok?"

"Ok"

"I think in a case like this, you need to think about if you would regret not seeing her."

Therese didn't answer that. She didn't know. Would she regret not seeing her?

"Is there a rush? Must you decide now?" Asked Carol.

"Well, in the next couple days or so I must, she isn't going to be here for very long."

"I'll mull it over, anyway," said Therese, looking at her watch, "I better get going, don't want to be late for work today."

She lent forwards and brushed her lips against Carols, then straightened up.

"Wait, Therese, before you go."

Carol stood up and walked over to her. Her brow was furrowed. "I need to ask you something."

"Sure, what is it?"

Carol opened her mouth but no words came out, she closed it again and smiled. It can wait till later.

"Carol, what is it?" Therese felt her heart beat quicken a little.

"Oh, it's nothing, nothing, I'll tell you when your back from work."

"Should I be worried?" asked Therese, one hand on the door handle. She was already worried.

Carol smiled a reassuring smile. "Oh, course not my darling, I will ask you later. Have a good day. I'll be back after five and you will be around six or so?"

"Yes, I will. Oh and I'm cooking tonight." Said Therese.

"I can't wait..

Therese smiled and closed the door behind her. What was Carol wanting to ask her and why didn't she ask her then and there? She had no idea. She shook her head and left the building. It didn't take her long to get to work, it was a gentle walk, one in which she could reflect on everything that had happened.

"Therese!"

Therese turned and looked, she had just come into the building and it was her boss.

"I need you to turn right around."

"Okay, why? Where am I going?"

"There is a movie being made, it's gonna be great. Anyway, we are doing a feature article on this actress who's in it, can't bloody remember the name, but I said you'd go over and take some shots of her and maybe a few of the others. I tried to get Huntly on it but he got stuck upstate, hopefully he'll be around this afternoon to help you, but don't worry, they are expecting you this morning."

"Oh right, but won't I need to take a load of things and set up?" asked Therese, who only had her camera and handbag on her.

"It's already been done, all ready for you when you get there ok?"

"So, you want me to go now?" she asked feeling exceedingly nervous. She had never done a shoot before.

"Yeah and hurry, here is the address." He thrust a small piece of paper in her hand and led her to the door.

"See ya later!"

Therese walked out the building and looked at the paper. She hailed a taxi, and got in. It speed down the street and in a matter of mere minutes was pulling up to a rather attractive building. It didn't however look like it could be a studio or rehearsal place. On the contrary, it looked like flats.

"Are you sure this is the right place?" She asked the driver.

"Sure, is doll, have a good day."

There was nothing else to do. She got out the cab and paid the driver. He sped off with a wave. Therese looked at the piece of paper again and up at the building. She took a deep breath, walked up the few steps or so to the building and rang the doorbell, then waited.

It felt like an eternity, she was about to ring the bell again when the door flew open to reveal a slender woman in her mid-twenties in a tight dress.

"Therese Belivet, photographer, right?" She said. Therese felt taken aback, but managed to compose herself.

"Yes, yes I am."

"I'm Lou. Come right in. We're looking forward to this."

Lou gestured for Therese to enter and she lead into a large hall then up a marble staircase.

"They are all getting ready. You haven't met them before, have you?"

"No, no I haven't," Replied Therese. She felt nervous as they climbed the stairs then walked through a grand corridor, lined with photographs of famous actors and actresses.

"She thought it would nicer to have the shoot here, in her house here in the city. She doesn't get to use it much so she adores making use of it when she has the time. She's more comfortable here you know."

"Sure." Replied Therese. Who on earth were they talking about?

Lou then stopped and knocked at a door. A voice said "come in" and the lady turned the brass handle and gestured for Therese to follow.

"Allow me to introduce you to Therese Bilivet, Therese, as you will know this is Genevieve Crannel."

Therese stared at the woman. She had met her at that party, just before she had gone to meet Carol at the Oak rooms.

Therese's eyes swept over the woman before her. She was taller than she remembered but had the same beautiful poised look, the sweep of blond hair, the electric blue eyes.

"Well, what a pleasant surprise," Said Genevieve in a smooth, "How are you Therese?"

So, she remembered her. This surprised Therese. How on earth did this beautiful English actress remember her?

"I'm well thanks, and how are you Genevieve?" She felt a sense of excitement as she said her name.

"Very well," replied Genevieve without taking her eyes of Therese.

"Well, shall I leave you two ladies to it?" Asked Lou.

"Sure," replied Genevieve, before Therese could say a word.

Lou smiled and left the room, leaving Therese and Genevieve alone together.


	18. Chapter 18

**NOTE: Thank you for the comments! I hope I'm not scaring you too much with these last few chapter, keeping the possibilities open! Hope you enjoy the chapter, :)**

Therese hesitated before entering the flat. She didn't know what to tell Carol. Was there any point in saying anything? Nothing had happened. Therese hadn't wanted anything to happen of course. She was besotted with Carol, but she couldn't deny the way Genevieve had given her long lingering looks all day, laughed at her lamest of jokes and flicked her hair whilst looking at her through long lashes all throughout the shoot. Therese had of course been polite, friendly back, but she could tell Genevieve wanted more. After the shoot was over, she had handed Therese a bit of paper with her number on it.

"You will call me, won't you? I would very much like to go for some drinks with you."

Therese had simply replied that that was nice, although gave no specific timing or commitment. She had put the paper with the number on in her coat pocket, doubting if she really would call her.

She shook her head. Maybe she was imagining it. She would have never thought any of this before she met Carol, but that was the thing, her world had changed since Carol. And then she smiled. Carol. Carol was waiting for her inside now. Her Carol. Therese didn't have to long, or pine for the woman who had shown her what love meant, she was right here, just through these doors. How could she think of anyone else when Carol was here? It was like she was her magnet, she couldn't. Therese put the key through the lock and turned it.

"Therese, darling! How was work?" Asked Carol, the moment Therese came in.

Therese smiled when she saw Carol, her heart rate increasing. She walked over towards her and kissed her lightly on the cheek

"Oh, fine, but I'm very glad to be home, with you."

Carol smiled a dazzling smile as Therese hung up her coat.

"Therese, lovely to see you again."

It was a different voice.

Therese turned and saw Abby, on the sofa, her legs extended to the other end and her shoes discarded on the floor. She had a cocktail in one hand and a cigarette in the other and was wearing a smile.

"Abby, what a… nice surprise."

She went towards the lady and kissed her on the cheek. Then turned to Carol, who passed her a drink.

"How was work?" she asked, sitting down on a chair, as Carol came and joined them.

She had not expected Abby, although she supposed she should get used to it. Carol did work with Abby, was best friends with Abby had even – No Therese, don't think about _that_ again.

"Good darling -"

"It was more than good," interjected Abby, "you should have seen her today Therese, Carol was marvellous, she sold two chests of drawers and a dining room table today."

"That's incredible Carol," said Therese, turning to Carol and beaming whilst trying to ignore how Abby was doing the same thing.

Carol just shook her head and rolled her eyes, clearly embarrassed.

"Oh, don't be modest Carol, if I've said it once and I'll say it again. Carol is so good at this kind of thing, people just fall in love with her, the moment they meet her."

Abby's eyes sparkled, and she shot Therese a glance. Therese pretended not to see and drank some of her cocktail. It was very strong.

"You overestimate me, besides you did incredible well yourself."

Abby waved the compliment away with a flick of a hand holding the cigarette.

"Oh, I only helped finalise the details, though I must say, we do make a good team."

Abby smiled again, her eyes locked on Carol, she then raised her glass and drank.

Carol smiled but turned to Therese, who was trying her upmost not to glower at Abby. Carol was just about to open her mouth to say something when Abby spoke again.

"Have you told her, Carol?" Asked Abby, again her eyes purely on Carol.

"No, I didn't get around to it this morning."

Carol looked down, it looked as if she were anxious, but why? She put a hand through her hair and then took a large sip of her drink. Then Carol looked up at Therese.

"I wanted to ask you if you would be happy if Abby and I to take a little trip, it would only be a few days. There is a client we have West who has some furniture we would like to have a look at. You wouldn't mind, would you darling?"

It felt like an internal battle was raging inside Therese. She wished very much that Abby was not here. The flames seemed to lick her insides. How could she say no? This was a great opportunity for Carol and she, Therese, would just look like the selfish paranoid lover to not let Carol go. On the other hand, she did not trust Abby not one bit, but she did trust Carol…

"So, what do you think?" Asked Carol, her eyes searching Therese's for an answer.

"I think it's a great opportunity and that you should go." Therese said and drained the last of her drink, setting it down on the table.

"Thank you darling, thank you," replied Carol, her eyes alight.

"How soon would it be?"

"As soon as possible really," replied Abby "tomorrow would be ideal."

"Tomorrow?!"

"Is that ok darling? I'm so sorry, I should have said earlier."

"Well the sooner you go, the sooner you'll come back."

"What a sweet thing to say Therese," said Abby, standing up, "Well, I'll be off Carol darling. You sleep well and I'll swing by at say nine tomorrow?"

Carol nodded and Abby kissed her on the cheek.

"Therese, a pleasure as ever, and don't worry. I promise I'll take good care of her."

She winked and kissed Therese goodbye too, "Cheerio ladies" and with a snap of the door she left.

Therese did not look at Carol immediately. She didn't know what to say, what to think even. Carol and Abby on a trip together alone, it didn't bare thinking about. She kept her eyes adverted downwards, until she felt hands on her shoulders. Therese didn't move.

"Darling, I'm so sorry I didn't tell you earlier but everything has felt pretty hectic recently, I meant to say this morning yet I-"

But Therese interrupted, "look, I get it, I do, it's fine. Just…Just tell me these things earlier next time."

"off course darling, off course."

There was a moment silence between them, then the hands on Therese's shoulders began to massage her gentle, and Carol kissed her neck.

"I really missed you."

The kisses became more sloppy. Therese closed her eyes and swallowed. Carol's lips went down to her collarbone, then up again to her chin, her cheeks and finally her lips.

At first Therese thought that she would not kiss Carol back, that she would show that she was upset, but the moment those lips met hers, she had no control. She lips, having a mind of their own kissed her back, yearning for more of Carol and she moaned and lent forward as Carol's tongue entered her mouth, hot and wet. Then Carol pushed Therese onto the sofa and began to straddle Therese, her kisses becoming more impassioned. Therese put a hand through Carol, bringing her closer and pulled at Carol's shirt, taking it off. Carol breathing was becoming heavier and she fumbled at Therese's blouse, undoing the buttons and throwing it on to the floor. Then her hand unhooked Therese's bra and before Therese knew it, Carol's lips were on her breasts, kissing, then sucking. Therese put a hand through Carol's hair and moaned louder, she couldn't think, it was bliss. Her heart rate was going at an alarming pace, she felt dizzy, light headed. And then Carol's hands were at her skirt, she was pulling it down as well as her tights and then, wet lips against her inner thigh. A hand rubbing her. Therese bit her lip to hold back the scream. Carol, looked up at Therese and smiled smugly. One of her hands went to massage Therese's breast, the other to remove her underwear.

Then Carols lips here there, kissing then the tongue pushing against her and licking. Therese began to moan louder, her breaths short and sharp.

"Oh Carol, Carol," she repeated breathlessly, her pelvis arching. Then Carol pushed a finger in to her throbbing entrance, slowly, and brought her mouth back to Therese's breasts. Therese's grasped at Carol's back, as Carol then thrust another finger in her, this time hard. She pulled them both out all the way, then pushed them in again, increasing the speed of the thrusts. Therese began panting, she felt the blood rushing to her cheeks. She couldn't think, she couldn't breathe, joy was leaping through her body and she let out a scream as her body shuddered, then relaxed. Carol smiled and then moved up to kiss her on the lips.

"Do you forgive me?"

Therese laughed, still out of breath. "It's kind of hard not to when you do that. I should get upset with you more often."

"Mmmmm you should."

They were quiet for a moment, just holding on to each other.

"I'll miss you," said Therese in a whisper.

"Oh darling, I'll miss you too, yet I'll hardly be gone, I'll be back before you know it."

"Promise you'll be careful. Promise you'll be safe that you'll come back."

"Oh, Therese, my angel, of course I will come back," Said Carol, stroking her hair. "Worry looks very sweet on you, but you have my word I'll come back. You see, I can't' function without you." She leant forward and kissed her "And I know you may not be Abby's biggest fan yet but she will be sensible too, she'll look out for me."

Therese did not doubt that for one second that Abby would keep an eye out for Carol but she seriously doubted if Abby had the same definition of 'sensible' as she did. And it was the way in which Abby would 'look after' Carol which concerned her…


	19. Chapter 19

**NOTE: So so sorry this has taken ages to update. Have been crazily busy recently, but hope to bring you some more soon. Hope you enjoy it, let me know! Thank you again for all the comments, love them :D**

Therese sat, looking at the clock. Carol would be back in two hours at 10pm, or so she said. Naturally she would be late, she was always late, but at least she would be back soon. Therese didn't know why exactly, but she felt uneasy. She stood up and looked around at the flat, it was spotless, having cleaned it twice. She had already eaten and she had cleaned that away too. She walked into the kitchen, opened the fridge, closed it and sighed. It was Abby. She did not trust her one bit. Why did Carol have to go on this trip? Why? Therese shook her head, opened a cupboard and reached for a water class. She pushed the tap handle, rather harder than she anticipated and there was a nasty clang.

"Damn!" she jumped back, a jet of water came rushing out the tap, splattering into the sink and onto her shirt.

She yanked the handle, to turn it off and the handle came off in her hands. She stared at it dumbly as the water came plummeting into the sink. Oh God! She desperately tried to twist what was left of the tap handle but nothing worked.

Think Therese, think! You need to call someone. A plumber! But would it not be too late for one, no surely, they would have an emergency number? Or…

Therese ran out the room and snatched at the phone. She dialled the number, waiting.

"Who the hell calls at this time?" came the voice through the receiver. Therese sighed in relief.

"Oh, thank God you answered Dannie, you have to come over now."

"What? Why?" Dannie's voice sounded panicky. "Where are you?"

"I'm at Carol's flat," my new flat, said a voice in her head.

"I'm on my way."

There was a click. Therese hung up the phone and went to the sink. She didn't know if Dannie could fix it at all but it was just having someone familiar rather than some stranger felt good. In a matter of what felt like minutes the door bell was ringing. Therese, buzzed him in and left the door open.

He walked in the door. His hair was touseled and his shirt had been buttoned incorrectly. It looked like he had thrown some clothes on blindfolded. He went straight to Therese.

"What is it? Are you okay?"

Therese blinked. "Yes, I'm fine." Then she realised that she hadn't told him why to rush over. Oh God, she must have really panicked him. His eyes were wide and he was looking at her intently, as if expecting her to faint or something. Well, he did have good reason, she didn't exactly have a great track record.

Dannie blinked. "Then why did you call?"

"Come," and she led him by the hand to the kitchen to where they were met by the sight and sounds of the water was hitting the basin in angry blasts.

"Oh Therese, what did you do?" he said looking at the sink and shaking his head. She could tell that he was teasing her.

"I didn't mean too!" She said, trying and failing to sound indignant.

"Bored of breaking hearts so you have gone on to taps now?"

"You're not funny you know?"

"I think I'm hilarious actually. Right, do you have a tool box?"

"Um… actually I don't think I do."

"Well lucky for you, mine is in my car, I'll be a min," and he strolled out of the room. Therese smiled and shook her head. She immediately felt calmer when he was around. Less tense. He always had that effect over her. She had never known it, being alone and without proper siblings, but she could imagine this is what it felt like to have a brother.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked as he came back in the room, tool kit in hand.

"Oh, just how lucky I am to have a friend like you," she smiled.

"And you are only just realising this now?" He winked and put the toolkit on the counter, opened it up and rummaged inside.

"You're ridiculous."

Dannie shrugged and pulled out a wrench.

"So where is the lovely Carol?" He asked, bending over the sink.

Therese's smile faded.

"She is on a trip."

"A trip? Huh, alone?"

"No…no she isn't alone."

"Oh, with her daughter then? Rindy is it?"

"No, not with Rindy."

"Then who?"

Therese paused. Should she say?

"Abby."

"Abby?" Dannie turned around, to fix his eyes on Therese. "Is Abby not the woman who well…"

"Used to be Carol's lover? Yes."

Dannie raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, right. Are you okay with this?"

Again, Therese did not reply immediately, she picked up the empty class and put it back in the cupboard.

"Well I have to be, don't I?"

"Do you?"

"It's a business trip."

"Huh…"

"Well that sums up how I feel about it perfectly," said Therese, and she even managed a small laugh.

Dannie shook his head and turned back to the tap.

"Is it fixable?" Therese asked anxiously. She didn't much like the idea of telling Carol that the first time she was left alone in the flat she had managed to break the sink.

"Hmmmm, I think so, If I just-"

He cranked the wrench to the left and another bit of the tap broke off. It fell to a clatter in the basin as an even more powerful jet of water hit Dannie hard in the face.

"AHHHH!" he tried to block the jet with his hands and instead it his him in the chest.

Therese came forward, but then she too got hit by the water.

"THAT'S IT!" Dannie yelled and stuck his hand back towards the sink, wrench in hand as if it were a sabre. Water flew out at them, hitting them everywhere. He then made an almighty twist and the water stopped.

"Oh, thank God!" Therese said, as Dannie panting dropped the wrench on the counter. They turned to face each other and burst into laughter.

"You look like you just fell into a lake!" she chuckled. His shirt was soaked through and his chinos were damp all over.

Here, take them off, I'll put them on the radiator.

"You sure?

"Hand them over. I'm gonna change."

He stripped down until he was just in his boxers and gave her the clothes. She went over to the radiator, and put them over it.

"I won't be a minute," she called to him as she went in the bedroom.

She unzipped her dress and looked around for some clothes. Then she froze as she heard the click of the front door open and she heard Carol's voice. No way. Carol was early?

Therese, snatched at her dressing gown, with only her underwear on underneath and ran out the room.

Carol, stood there in the middle of the room, Abby next to her. They were both staring at Dannie.

Oh God, Oh God.

"Carol…" Said Therese, her voice weak and unsure. And Carol's eyes went to her, taking in her dressing down, that was not done up properly so that it did nothing to disguise that Therese was next to naked underneath.

Carol had a face like thunder.

Without a word, Carol turned around and marched back through the door, Abby following her.

Panic seemed to spread through Therese's body like wild fire. She couldn't think. But she needed to, she had to do something. What had just happened? Surely Carol couldn't think that, she really couldn't think that….

Therese turned to face Dannie, his own expression seemed to mirror what Therese was thinking.

Then something snapped in her head. Therese ran out the door, not caring that she wasn't wearing shoes, or proper clothes even. She just had to see Carol, she had to. Had to explain. She took the stairs two at a time and hurtled down the corridor. Why she hadn't taken the elevator, she did not know, but moving felt better than staying still. She came to the last door and pushed it open and ran into the night.

She could see Carol's car. See Carol getting in. See Abby getting into the driver's seat.

"CAROL!" Therese tried to shout but she was so out of breath it sounded more like a gasp. "CAROL!" she tried again, but no good. Therese was running to the car faster than she had ever run in her life but it was beginning to move and Carol couldn't see her. But Therese could see Carol alright and she could see that there was a tear rolling down her cheek. The car gained speed and took off fast.

"CAROL!" She tried again but it was pointless, the car was moving faster now, a green blur disappearing into the night like smoke into air and Therese stood there in the middle of the street, her heart racing and breaking as Abby sped away with Carol.


	20. Chapter 20

**Note: Thank you again for all the comments, I so love reading what you all think. Hope you all have a lovely weekend, :)**

Therese stood there staring. Her heart was racing and her mind was numb. Her unfocused eyes gazed desperately ahead of her towards the darkened street with the flickering lamps and wet pools of oil. She didn't know what to do. She couldn't move, she couldn't leave. Maybe Carol would come back? Then she felt a hand on her shoulder and someone guide her away, back into the apartment, back up the stairs to the flat. It took her a while to realise that it was Dannie. He helped her take a seat on the sofa, then he went into the kitchen and reappeared holding two large glasses of wine. He put one in Therese's hand. She took it, and had a sip, a short one at first then a larger one. She coughed and spluttered and drank some more.

"Therese… I am so, so sorry," said Dannie.

Therese looked up at him. His eyes were fixed on hers, his brow furrowed. She took another sip of wine and put down the glass. Dannie leant forward and refilled it.

"It's not your fault Dannie. It's mine."

"No Therese it isn't. It is an utter misunderstanding."

Therese nodded and drank some more.

"Look sweetie, I'm sure things will sort themselves out. Honestly, Carol will come around."

She nodded, but she didn't believe it.

"She will be back tomorrow. You mark my words."

He took a sip of wine and leant back. She will be back after work, you don't have anything planned do you.

"N-" but then she stopped. She did have plans. Her mother. She had decided at last that she would see the mother just for a quick drink after work. She still didn't know if she wanted to see her, but curiosity had gotten the better of her.

"I'm seeing my mother."

Dannie chocked.

"Y y your mouther?" he asked red in the face.

"Yes", replied Therese. She could hear that her voiced sounded detached.

"Would you like me to come with you?"

Therese considered this. Dannie would be such a support, such a comfort. But no, she must do this alone.

She shook her head and placed a hand on his.

…

There were dark rings under Therese's eyes when she awoke. She had barely slept and when she had she had fever like dreams of blurs of colour, Abby's face and Carol's. She awoke panting and sweating. She took a hot shower but was still shivering. She tried to dress nicely to put some makeup on but it just didn't do anything. Pull yourself together Therese, said a voice in her hear. Dannie is right, Carol will be back soon and the meeting with your mother will be fine.

Work went by exceptionally quickly. She felt Dannie's eyes on her all day. He didn't mention the previous night's events, but he brought her coffee, put a hand on her shoulder or simply gave her a reassuring smile. But even that couldn't get rid of the butterflies she felt when five o'clock came.

"Good luck", said Dannie as they left the building together, "I'm sure it will be fine, if you want to come around to mine afterwards, please do."

He gave her a swift kiss on the cheek and left. Therese watched him leave, then slowly made her way to the hotel where she would be meeting her mother. Her heart was thumping hard in her chest, but her mind was still detached. She took slow steps, buying herself more time. It didn't work. She was outside the hotel. She stared at the door, where two doormen stood.

She didn't have to go in. No one was making her. She could turn around now. She could go, it would be easy. No. She took a deep breath and entered, climbed up the stairs and went to the drinks room. Her eyes scanned the room. She couldn't see her. Her heart was pounding against her chest now. She went over to the window and took a seat. What the hell was she doing? This was stupid, she should leave.

"Therese?" said un unfamiliar yet completely recognisable voice.

Therese looked round and looked up into the face of her mother. To the face that was the same yet so different. To the face that she had looked upon as a child, next to her wonderful father. Her father. Oh, what she would give to be able to speak with him now, his gentle artistic nature, always so kind and generous. But no, he was gone. But her mother was here. The mother who never loved her father, never understood him and who she had not seen since she was fifteen. It felt like a lifetime ago, so much had changed. Therese had changed so much.

"Mother."

Therese stood up she didn't know what to do. She didn't want to embrace her or kiss her. But would shaking her hand be too stiff? Instead she gestured to the seat opposite and sat down again.

"Well haven't you grown up," said her mother sitting down.

Her dark eyes, with the same brittle mascaraed eyelashes, scanned Therese's unsmiling face. Therese didn't reply, yet motioned for the waiter to take their orders. Once he had gone she looked back into her mother's face.

"Are you still living in long island?" she asked somewhat mechanically.

Her heart was no longer beating fast. An odd sense of calm seemed to have descended over her.

"Yes, we are."

"And how is Nick and your sons," it almost felt like talking to a stranger. She felt so disconnected from the woman.

"All very well, Nick is working like a hurricane and the boys I must say take after him exactly. They love sport and running around, well typical boys I guess."

The waiter came back and placed two glasses of wine before them.

"And do you still play the piano much?" Asked Therese once the waiter left.

"Only out of pleasure now, I don't need to perform, Nick makes sure I am very comfortable."

Therese felt a stabbing in her heart, as she knew that was a slight against her unsuccessful father. She didn't respond but took a sip of wine.

"And you Therese. What are you doing?"

Her mother took a sip of wine, leaving a dark smear of lipstick on the rim of her glass.

"I work as a photographer for The Times."

"How interesting," said her mother in a voice that was almost believable, "you take after your father in his artistic pursuits then."

"I guess so."

Therese didn't know what to say so took another sip of wine. She had run out of things to say.

"And do you have a boyfriend? I see you are not married," said her mother nodding at her left hand.

"No, I don't have a boyfriend."

"I'm sure you will soon."

Therese had to suppress a smile so took another sip of wine. Then she remembered about Carol and last night and felt a stone drop in the pit of her stomach. There was a long silence, in which neither of them said anything. Therese could see that her mother felt awkward, but Therese didn't for some reason.

"Why did you want to see me?" she asked at last.

Her mother looked taken aback by the question.

"Is it such a crime to see my daughter?" she responded and Therese was distinctly reminded of her passionate pushy ways.

"No, I guess not, but it is odd."

She took another sip of wine.

"Why are you so distant Therese?" Her mother's eyes bored into hers.

"I'm not."

"You seem so cold."

Therese bite the inside of her cheeks. She could feel a fury growing inside her. But she took a breath and smiled.

"I'm sorry you think so."

Therese drained the last of her wine, looked at her watch and pulled out her wallet, placing a note on the table.

"I must be going."

Her mother once again looked slightly thrown off.

"So soon?"

"I have an engagement," Therese lied.

"Can I see you again? Her mother asked."

Therese hesitated, "If it pleases you," and she turned away without looking back.

She walked out calmly from hotel, down the stairs and then on to the busy street full of commuters making their way back home. She breathed out and sighed then her whole body seemed to shake and tears came falling hard and fast from her eyes. She hastily reached for a handkerchief trying to stem the flow. Why was she crying so much why? Her feet were taking her back to the apartment without her even realising it. Her mind kept going back to the conversation she had just had with her mother.

Was she cold? Yes, she had been, but with every right. What did her mother expect? That she would be bouncing with happiness to see her. They were so different, just so different. She was at the door. She rummaged in her bag for the keys and turned the lock. She opened the door and stepped in.

Carol was there.

Carol looked up, straight into Therese's eyes. They were hard and guarded.

"Hi", said Therese, as she closed the door her eyes set on the woman before her.

"Hello Therese", replied Carol.

Therese took a few more steps forward to where Carol was sitting and sat opposite her on the sofa.

"You are late coming home," said Carol.

It wasn't an accusation although the words were cold and sharp. Therese knew that Carol was too proud to ask why.

"I had to meet someone."

Why didn't she just tell her who? But she couldn't, she didn't want to talk about her mother now, there were other things to talk about.

"Someone?" and Carol raised an eyebrow.

"Carol -" began Therese, but Carol cut across.

"I'm here to collect some of my things."

Therese stared at Carol shocked.

"What do you mean…?"

"I think we need some space, I think you need to decide what your feelings are…as do I."

"What? Carol, I love you." Therese, knelt to the floor and moved towards Carol desperate, reaching towards her and taking her hand in her own. "I love you."

Carol looked away, but not before Therese could see the pain in her eyes.

"But you and Dannie, I saw you."

"Carol, the water tap broke, there was water shooting everywhere, he came around and helped, look."

And Therese stood up and led Carol to the kitchen where the toolbox still stood and the broken tap lay.

"I called Dannie and he came over to fix it. We both got soaked in the process. I promise you that is all. Nothing happened between us, I love you, only you and he knows that."

Therese cupped Carols face in her hands, "I love you Carol".

Carol looked deep into her eyes, and Therese could see a transformation in them, the hard look seemed to melt and was replaced first with understanding and relief and then something else. Carol took a step back. A tear rolling down her cheek.

"Therese, I'm so so sorry…I thought well-"

But before she could continue the door opened. Therese turned and Abby came in.

"Are you ready Carol?"

Therese watched, stunned as Abby walked in and placed a hand around Carol's waist.

"What? Carol, what is happening?" asked Therese her eyes flicking between the two, scared to receive an answer. This was like some bad dream, it had to be.

But before Carol could answer Abby did.

"She is coming with me for a while, to someone who truly cares for her," and before Therese's eyes Abby leant forward and kissed Carol on the lips.

Therese felt like a brick wall had hit her.

"What the hell? Did you two…last night?" Asked Therese.

Carol didn't say anything; the tears were rolling fast and furiously from her grey eyes. Then she whispered, "yes".

Therese froze. It seemed like time had stopped she stared at Carol, her heart breaking into a thousand million pieces. It was too much, it was all too much. Therese turned and ran out the flat, slamming the door, she sprinted down the steps and out into the cold night. Where she was going, she had no idea but she kept running until it hurt so much that she couldn't run anymore. Then panting she stopped and lent against a telephone booth. She dug her hands deep inside her pocket, and her fingers made contact with a piece of paper. Strange. She pulled it out and looked at it. It was Genevieve Cranell's number. Without thinking, without stopping to even consider anything, Therese entered the phone booth, put some coins into it and dialled the number, she waited.

"Hello?" Came a voice.

"Hi Genevieve, it's Therese. How about I take you for the drink tonight?"


	21. Chapter 21

**Note: Firstly, WOW! Thank you for all your responses, you guys are the best! I have loved reading what you all think, so thank you for taking the time to comment! I know the last few chapters have been hard for some, hope I haven't upset anyone too much. Thank you all, hope you have a good week :)**

Therese stood there, her hand hovering over the bell. Should she press it? A voice in her head was screaming at her not to, to turn back and go… Go where though? Where would she go? She couldn't go back to the flat, and she was not in the mood to reveal what happened with Carol to Dannie. She pressed the Bell.

Blood was pumping through her body at an alarming rate. She felt feverous, her palms were sweating and her mind was racing. This was stupid, absurd, she should turn back right now- The door flew open and Genevieve, stood there in a low cut, body hugging, red satin dress. Therese felt her eyes linger over her body, momentarily lost for words.

"Therese, come in wont you?" said Genevieve in a silky voice, holding the door open.

Therese took a breath and entered. Genevieve smiled coyly.

"So nice of you to come here for a drink instead of going out, I wasn't really in the mood. Here, allow me to take your coat."

She came up behind Therese, and helped her out her coat, Genevieve's fingers gently brushing over Therese's neck, sending shivers down her spine.

"Thanks for having me, on such short notice," she replied, as Genevieve hung up her coat and led them into the sitting room.

"I've rather been hoping that you would call," she continued, gesturing for Therese to sit down.

"Were you?" Asked Therese, taken aback by her abruptness.

"Well, it's not every day a young beautiful photographer walks into your life and takes your breath away. I've been thinking about you."

She gave her a dazzling smile.

"Now, what will you have to drink?"

Therese, feeling stunned didn't answer immediately. How could this be so easy?

"Martini please."

When had she ever wanted a martini in her life? Well, it sounded better than asking for a beer… Mind you, Carol liked a Martini and whenever she had made them they had tasted good. Don't, don't think of Carol, came a harsh voice in Therese's mind.

"Here you go."

Therese felt the drink being pushed into her hand.

"You look lost in space."

Space. Flung out of space. Carol.

Therese forced a smile as she pushed the image of Carol out of her mind. She brought the drink to her lips. It was strong, too strong, but she liked it, well, she needed to like it.

Genevieve sipped at her own drink, her eyes on Therese.

"So, what made you call?"

How the hell was she to answer that one?

"I, well I, wanted to see you."

Well that was lame. No chance now Therese.

"I'm glad, I can get ever so lonely here you know."

Genevieve inched closer to Therese on the sofa. Therese brain felt like it was shutting down on her, she drained her Martini. Damn it was strong. Genevieve smiled again, reached for the jug and re-filled her glass.

"Thank you."

"How long will you be in New York for?" Said Therese, conversationally.

She took another sip. Her head felt light and dizzy.

"A few months, I think…"

Therese could tell this topic held little interest to Genevieve. She played with her hair and circled the rip of her glass with a well-polished finger. Therese drank more of her drink.

"And do you live alone Therese?"

Again, how was she to respond to that? Therese took another sip and replied

"I'm in a transitional phase."

What the hell did that mean? Whatever it meant or didn't mean though it seemed to have an effect for Genevieve raised an eyebrow.

"Well, well, well, Therese, you are mysterious, aren't you?"

Therese didn't know how to respond to this so drained her glass for a second time. She felt warm and fuzzy inside as Genevieve re-filled her glass again.

"Well you certainly like you drinks, don't you?"

Wrong. Carol likes her drinks.

"Tonight, I do."

"And why is it that you have no plans to be drinking with someone close, perhaps a boyfriend?"

Genevieve's eyes, twinkled as she spoke, knowing how Therese would answer.

Therese smiled and replied, "I don't have a boyfriend."

"Really? A beautiful girl like you? Why ever not?"

Therese knew she was playing with her. Her voice was light-hearted.

"Boyfriends aren't really my thing to tell the truth."

"Hmmmm," said Genevieve bringing her glass to her crimson lips, "that makes two of us."

Therese smiled and drained her third drink. Genevieve inched closer again, her eyes gazing into Therese's. She put her glass down without looking away from her, and edged ever nearer. Therese didn't move. She didn't know what to think or feel.

Genevieve moved a hand towards Therese's face and caressed her cheek, her face drawing nearer. And then, those crimson lips were on hers, without a trace of hesitation. It took Therese a moment or two to react and then she did. She kissed her back fiercely and pulled her closer, until Genevieve was on top of her. It felt….different, odd. But she didn't want to think about that, why shouldn't she be doing this? Images of Carol were streaming into her head one after the other, but she went on kissing Genevieve with more passion. Therese could feel Genevieve's hand undoing the buttons of her blouse, feel it being taken off and the hands unhook her bra. Dizzy, Therese followed suit, undoing Genevieve's dress until Genevieve was bare breasted. She placed her hands on the woman's breast and felt them. Genevive let out a low moan, and then Genevieve lips were on Therese's neck, they were moved down to her breasts. Just like Carol.

Without warning, large tears came from Therese's eyes, she tried to brush them away quickly, but they wouldn't stop. Carol, Carol, Carol. She broke apart from Genevieve and stumbled back, falling of the sofa and on to the floor. She scrambled to her feet and picked up her bra and blouse and put them on her.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

And she ran, ran right out the room and down the hall, straight to the door, she flung it open and stepped out into the cool evening. And then the tears came in full force; she was sobbing hysterically, uncontrollably, her shoulders shaking.

She started walking, where, she had no idea. She didn't bother to stop the tears. She felt her heart, so newly repaired crumble, because she knew that this time it was different, this time it wasn't because Carol couldn't be with her, it was because she had preferred to be with another. The pain seeped into her like lemon in a cut. It stung and ached. She clutched at her chest as if putting pressure would put it back together, as if that would be so simple. If anything would be so simple again.

Should she be mad at Abby? Could she blame Abby? Abby had probably been waiting years for this. Imagine if she was in Abby's shoes, would she have acted the same? Therese bit her lip, hating the answer that was formulating in her brain. Yes. But what now? Abby had won. Abby would always win and she had to be the graceful loser. Was there any point in fighting it? When Carol made up her mind, she made up her mind.

Therese blinked. Her feet had carried her outside the flat. Would Carol be here? She couldn't bear to see Carol, not now. The thought sent a stabbing feeling in her chest and she clutched at it again harder. It was late, Carol was sure to have gone back with Abby. Therese paused. She would stay here tonight, gather up her things and ask Dannie if she could temporarily move in with him tomorrow. She would stay until…until….what? What would she do? Live her life as if she hadn't met Carol? How would that be possible?

Therese, sighed and opened the door. All the lights were off, as if nothing had happened, as if everything was quietly waiting for normality again. Yet there would never be normality again, not without Carol. Exhausted, without bothering to take of clothes or go to the bedroom, Therese flung herself onto the sofa and closed her eyes. The last lingering image that she saw before uncomfortable sleep arrived was that of Carol smiling and waving at her to come over, something Therese felt, she would never see again.


	22. Chapter 22

**Note: I am very very sorry this has taken so long to come. I have been exceedingly busy, but will do my best to update soon. A shorter chapter for now, but hope you enjoy it all the same. Thank you so much for your comments. You guys are the best. Hope you are enjoying your weekends :)**

Therese woke with a start. What the? She heard lights flick on and a scream. Therese sat bolt upright, looking wildly around the room. Her head was spinning and the lights were blinding. It took her a minute or two to first realise where she was and then to remember that she had heard a scream.

"Therese?"

Therese felt her eyes land on the speaker. Carol, wearing a silk dressing gown, and holding what appeared to be a black umbrella that was pointed out at her as if it was a sabre. Instinctively, Therese put her hands in the air.

"Therese, what, what are you doing here?" Carol asked, lowering the umbrella.

Therese stiffened but put her hands down. I mean yes, she had only lived here a short while but it was still her home. Well for now…

"I'll be gone tomorrow, or later today," she added glancing at her watch. It was five in the morning. When on earth was Carol awake at this time? "I didn't know if you would be here. I didn't want to disturb you."

She didn't look at Carol. She couldn't.

"You would never disturb me. hoped you would come back," said Carol softly. She sat down next to Therese.

Therese felt so unsure as to what to say. What did that mean?

"Why are you not with Abby?"

It was hard to keep her voice level.

"Because, because I want to be here with you."

Therese looked up, looked up into the face who had caused her so much pain. So much angony…yet so much love and joy and euphoria. What? What was Carol saying? Her heart did the smallest of flips.

"I don't understand Carol."

Carol sighed and shook her head.

"I made a huge mistake with Abby. I, she talked me into leaving you and I… I'm sorry to say that we…we, well we didn't sleep together but we kissed and slept in the same bed together. I can't blame her, it was my fault and I wish a thousand times that I didn't. But I did. When I saw you with Dannie, I didn't think. I think I lost the plot. And then I found out that you did nothing and I-"

But Therese put up her hand to interrupt her.

"I saw Genevieve Crannel last night."

Carol looked taken aback, "The actress?"

"Yes, it's a long story. I have been doing some work with her and well she gave me her number, and after I saw you last night, I I called her."

Carol's face was unreadable.

"I see," she said.

Therese looked down at her hands that were entwined on her lap. She opened her mouth and continued. "We sort of kissed and well it was leading to more." Therese gulped then told Carol the whole story, without leaving out any detail. She wanted Carol to know everything, her heart beating frantically while she spoke.

Carol just listened attentively but when Therese finished the story she put a hand on Therese's.

"I suppose we were both too quick to act."

Carol looked at Therese, her eyes filled with with…regret?

"I, I thought that I had lost you," Therese said, her eyes wet now.

"Just how I thought I had lost you too."

They were silent for a moment. Then Therese broke it with a question she was terrified to ask.

"So, what does this mean then Carol?"

Carol sighed. "I don't know Therese, I really don't. We need to talk, properly. But let's leave it until later, until later today. Let's just sleep."

Therese felt her mind go numb. Oh God. What did that mean? What on earth did that mean. That Carol would not want to continue their relationship. Was this the end. Should they not discuss it now?

But Therese could not say these things so instead she simply nodded and stood up. Carol did too and they walked into the bedroom. Carol, upon entering, went straight to the bed and pulled back the covers and slipped into bed. Therese hesitated, unsure what to do, but a wave of sleepiness compelled her to do the same. She didn't even bother that she was still fully dressed. She moved to the other side of the bed and lay down, careful that she was not touching Carol. She moved so she was at the edge of the bed and closed her eyes. How strange it was to be here, so close yet so far from Carol with only uncertainty holding them together at this moment. She did not like it, she did not like it at all. She felt the large tears come again, quickly and silently. She felt the sheets rustle and Carol's arm wrap around her, felt Carol's breath on her neck and Therese sighed.

Did Carol know she was crying or did Carol too seek the contact? Or did Carol not care anymore? Was Carol done with her, like she was with Harge and now Abby, would she be next? Please no, oh please no. At the thought, Therese moved her hand over to Carol's and enclosed her own over it. She squeezed it tightly, savouring every second of the woman's touch. Maybe she and Carol could just stay here for ever, in this moment and time would freeze. This feeling, of pure comfort. Let it not go, let it stay because the future was too full of uncertainty. Therese shut her eyes tighter wishing tomorrow, or later or whatever it was would not come.


	23. Chapter 23

**Note: So so so so soooooo sorry for this being exceedingly late! I will try and be quicker. I've had a lot going on but I am really sorry I took my time. Thank you to all who read this and leave comments, you are amazing! Hope you have a lovely weekend. :)**

It took a while for Therese to open her eyes. She had just had the most wonderful dream and was clinging onto it, desperately wishing it were real. Carol and her, with smiles and laughter. In a different place, with no Abby, Harge, without her mother; leaving her with a long glowing feeling inside. However, the longer she thought about it the quicker it seemed to be slipping away from her as if she were trying to hold on to water. Reality and flashbacks of the previous night were now taking the place of her dream into her mind. Maybe if she didn't open her eyes she wouldn't have to face the day ahead. After all, it was a Saturday, a full day of having to deal with the many, many problems ahead of her without the distraction of work, great.

"Therese?" Therese felt the bed sink down next to her.

Therese's eyes flew open. Carol glanced down at her briefly, then away, giving nothing away in her eyes.

"Good morning, did you sleep well?" she didn't say it stiffly, more like with uncertainty.

"Yes, yes, I think so, did you?" Therese answered

Carol eyes flicked back to her for a second before looking down at her hands, "so so."

"So," said Therese, feeling uncomfortable, what should she say? What was Carol thinking? "Have you got anything planned today?"

"No…"

"Carol…Carol, look at me….Please."

Carol turned, slowly to look at her.

And it was in that second, in that moment that Therese realised that no matter what had happened between them, or that would happen, she still loved Carol, loved her so much that it burned her chest to look into Carol's cool grey eyes.

Instinctively she reached out a hand and cupped the back of Carol's head, pulling her forward until Carol's lips met hers. Her lips kissed Carol, not with lust or an overwhelming passion as they had so many times before, but with a need so powerful, it was as if Carol was her air. It was neither slow nor was it fast, but right in that moment, a fluidity, a flux, like a wave melting on the beach, a feeling that was so imperfectly perfect that time seemed to stop.

Therese could feel Carol's heat beats quicken, as she felt the woman's chest pressed tight against her own. Without breaking their kiss, Therese let her other hand loosen the tie on Carol's robes, exposing the woman's naked body beneath. She pulled her tighter towards her, as Carol began to kiss down Therese's neck, leaving goose-bumps under the kiss marks. Therese, pulled Carol on top of her on the bed, and let her fingers roam under the woman.

She didn't let herself miss anything, keeping her eyes on Carol the whole time. Because, could this be the last time this happened. She needed to take in each moment, every panting breath, every moan, every touch, shudder and sigh, the feel of the woman on top of her. Everything.

And then, in her arms, her smell lingered with cigarette smoke and perfume. A smell so unique, so powerful that it alone could bring back waves of memories. They lay in each other arms, not saying a word, just there, feeling it.

Therese, turned slightly, to see that Carol was staring at her. A sad smile lingered around the woman's lips as she spoke.

"You are so wonderful, so wonderful."

There was something in Carol's eyes, in her expression that made Therese gulp, a lump in her throat forming.

"I still love you." Answered Therese, as tears began to roll down her cheeks.

"I know darling, I know."

It wasn't the answer she wanted. That she needed. What to say?

"What are you thinking?" asked Therese, trying to wipe the tears away on the sheets. Her heart rate quickened.

Carol didn't answer at first, she leant forward and kissed her with such tenderness, such softness that Therese felt momentarily lost in another world.

"I'm thinking about you. About us."

"And?" Prompted Therese.

"And, how come this is so easy," she said gesturing between them, "and everything else with us so hard?"

It wasn't a question that required an answer because they both knew there was no answer. It more like a fact. A blindingly obvious and painful fact.

"I want easy Therese."

And there it was. An honest answer. And that was what was implied. This, her and Carol, was anything but easy.

"I think we both deserve for life to be easy. After everything we have gone through, we owe it to each other, don't you think?"

Therese didn't reply. How could she. What was easy? What was this term 'an easy life?' she certainly had never experienced it. Not when she was a child when her father had died. Not when she was sent to live in a school with a mother who neither loved her nor cared. Not with Richard and certainly not with Carol. But just because things were not easy it didn't mean that things could not be beautiful.

"So, what is it that you want with us?"

"I don't want to cause you anymore pain Therese."

"The only pain you could cause me would be leaving me. Again."

Therese looked at Carol with an intensity, she had to fight, she had to, otherwise, what was the point, the point in everything?

"I have caused you so much pain already."

"And I you."

"Well then, when will it stop?" asked Carol, not in an accusatory way, more as an honest question.

"When we trust each other." The answer came so easily, so naturally. She had never really voiced it fully as she had never really realised what their biggest barrier was until now.

"We both don't trust each other fully. That is our problem." Therese repeated. "But I want that to change."

"You still want this then? Do you really?"

"Don't you?" She had to ask, had to. But could she bare the answer.

"It's so painful Therese, I want the pain to end. I can't keep doing this. I just can't, I don't have the strength anymore."

"Please Carol, please, don't end this, not now. Let me trust you, let you trust me. Please."

Therese lent forward and kissed Carol. "I can't bear to live without your lips" and she kissed her again. "or without looking into your eyes" and she kissed her eye lids. "Please Carol."

"How on earth can we fix this?" Asked Carol, tears coming from her eyes now.

"By completing our trip? Full circle? We need to get away from everything here, just you and I. Please Carol."

"A trip?"

"Yes, a trip. Now. What do you say? One last shot?"


	24. Chapter 24

**NOTE: Thank you very much for the comments, so love to read them. Again, sorry that I have been so slow, so I thought I would work hard (while I have a little more time) and so here we are! Hope you enjoy, love to hear from you all. Hope you all have a wonderful weekend :)**

She re-packed for what felt like the umpteenth time. Thinking, thinking. What did this trip mean? Would her and Carol take separate rooms? Maybe, maybe that was best. And also, there were other things. Sure, she wanted this trip, but she was also furious, so so furious with Carol, and terrified and sad and every other emotion under the sun. It wasn't fair. It was so complicated.

She refolded a blouse and placed it neatly in her case. There was just so much to talk about, where did one start?

"Therese?" Carol poked her head around the bedroom door.

"Yes?" asked Therese, looking up.

"I'm just popping out quickly, I'll be back in 30 minutes or so."

"Oh, okay."

"And then we will get on the road. Well, bye then," and she turned and walked away.

"Bye…" said Therese much too late and in a whisper.

Where was Carol going? She had already been out to the shops. Oh Therese, stop thinking like this. Just get on and complete your packing, she probably forgot something, that's all. She fiddled with the clasps but then stopped, struck by a thought. What if Carol was seeing Abby? It would make perfect sense, someone had to look after everything while she was away. What would Abby do? Or say. And Carol? No, no, no Therese. Stop thinking about that. It is over between those two. That's what Carol said, and she needed to trust Carol. But… Abby. Why wouldn't she just tell her? Oh, don't be stupid, you know very well why. Well of course…

Therese stood up straight. Then, with speed, grabbed her handbag and her keys and ran out the flat. If she ran, she might still be able to follow her. This is madness, total madness yelled a voice in her head, but she didn't listen. She took the steps two at a time, and flung herself out the door. The snap of a door and the roar of an engine, Carol was in the car. And moving fast. Therese ran onto the streets. She spun around desperately and then as if it were a miracle, she saw a taxi. She waved like a madwoman and it screeched to a halt. She jumped in and panting yelled "follow that green car, the one two ahead of you, quickly!"

The driver nodded. Therese leaned forward in her seat panting and briefly wondered if the taxi man had had many people do this before. Perhaps it wasn't totally uncommon, surely people do this. Follow their loved one, spy on people. Wrong, wrong, wrong, said the voice in her head.

"Oh, shut up Therese."

The driver turned questioningly to her, an eyebrow raised. Yes, he definitely thought that she was crazy. Oh well, she had to hand it to him, he was very good and fast at weaving in and out of the traffic. They were now just behind Carol. Therese instinctively leant back so as not to be seen at all. She had totally lost the plot. But her heart was racing her palms sweating. What was the point in all this? What would she do once she had stalked Carol? Would she say anything? What if, she had it all wrong and Carol was just buying some food or a coffee or…or something.

She could turn back, and no one would be any the wiser, well, apart from the taxi driver and Therese seriously doubted if he was the type to chat. No, the point was she didn't have to do this. She waited for reason to overcome her, but it didn't. And so, she sat there, sat there until the car pulled up outside the furniture shop.

"Could you just wait here for a minute?" Asked Therese as the man pulled up to park five cars behind Carol. He nodded and Therese slipped out the car, closing the door softly. She surreptitiously edged towards a phone booth that was conveniently placed just outside the shop. She threw open the door and snuck inside.

She turned to the shop and could just see Carol walking in. Abby was there, naturally. A fire seemed to well in her chest at the sight of her. That woman, that woman, if she only knew.

But hang on, what was that? Carol was talking to Abby and was handing something to her…a letter? And that was it. Carol then turned promptly around and walked out of the shop and moved to her Car. Therese crouched and turned so that her back was facing the shop. Please, please, please don't see me, please. She then heard the familiar hum of the car and turned to see Carol drive away. Therese opened the door of the booth and got back in the taxi.

How strange. What the hell was in that letter? Oh, stupid Therese, why, why follow her? It just adds to more unanswered questions.

The driver drove right up to the flat and she got out, after carefully making sure she tipped him generously and then she made her way to the flat again. Now she would have to explain why she was out. Damn. She paused and then walked turned around and walked around the corner. There was a little show there selling flowers. Why not? She decided on sunflowers and bought a bouquet and then walked back to the flat.

She hesitated at the door, then with a big breath turned it and opened the door.

"Oh Therese, there you are," Said Carol, she sounded relieved. Therese raised an eyebrow, I thought I would get these, and she handed the flowers to Carol.

"Oh, I thought, well… It doesn't matter what I thought. Being Silly I suppose."

Therese gulped. Did Carol really know what she had done?

"What did you think?" Asked Therese, her voice higher than usual.

"Only that…well…that maybe you had left."

This surprised Therese, she stared at Carol, before saying quietly "I'm right here."

They looked at one and other. It felt like there was too much space between them, yet neither of them decided to alter that. It was as if they were both shy around the other, unsure of how to act.

"So," started Therese, determined to get an answer "Where did you go?" She said it as casually as she could. She even went over to a vase to fill it with water to hide her expression.

"Oh, I just had to sort something out."

Her reply was too casual, too nonchalant.

"Really?" Persisted Therese, "like what exactly?"

"I think it would be best if I explained later, this evening, where we can chat."

Therese sighed, "I see, well I think-"Cut she was cut across by the doorbell ringning.

Therese turned to look at Carol. Who could it be now?

Carol walked over to the door and opened it.

"Can I help you?" came Carol's voice. Therese couldn't see who was at the door and so waited.

"Oh I'm sorry, I must have the wrong address, I was told that Therese Belivet lives here."

Therese almost smashed the vase at the sound of that voice. How on earth?

"She does, answered Carol in a surprised voice, do come in…."

"Genevieve, Genevieve Crannel."

Therese looked first to Carol. Her expression was like ice.

Genevieve turned and saw Therese, she smiled. And handed her an enormous bouquet of white lilies and orchids. Therese took the bouquet startled.

"How, how did you find me?" Asked Therese, feeling totally shocked.

"I called The Times, they gave me your address, sorry to but in on you like this but I wanted to chat."

She looked over at Carol at this point, as if hoping that she would take the hint and leave, but it seemed as if Carol had turned into an ice sculpture. She glared at Genevieve, clearly stating that she was not going anywhere.

"Look Genevieve, I'm sorry about, last night and running out on you like that and well… I really am. It wasn't right." Therese looked down at the bouquet, they really were beautiful.

"Therese" and Therese felt Genevieve place a hand on her shoulder "I am the one who should be sorry. I rushed things. I shouldn't have. Look I think you are a great girl, fantastic and you deserve to be treated properly, so Therese, will you go out on a date with me? A proper date, less alcohol, more chatting. How would that sound?"

Therese stood stock still. What the hell could she say? She felt Genevieve's long lashed eyes on her, awaiting an answer. This was too much.

She opened her mouth, but before she would answer Carol spoke.

"Genevieve, you are right about Therese, being a wonderful and deserving the best and being treated properly," said Carol, walking up them and stopping right next to Therese.

"She hasn't been treated as she deserves to be. She has been put through hell and back over and over again, but not for any longer. You see the thing is, Therese is the most compassionate, caring and unequitable kind person I have ever met. I don't tell her enough." Carol was no longer speaking at Genevieve, instead her eyes were on Therese and she reached out to put a hand on Therese's hand.

"And I love her," continued Carol, "I really truly love her. We have a lot of things and difficulties to sort out but I do. I know she is too good for me. I know she deserves the best. But Damn it all, will I try my hardest to give her the best."

Therese didn't reply. Her eyes were locked on Carol's.

"Well," said Genevieve, breaking the silence, "Looks like I'm a little too late."

"I'm sorry Genevieve," said Therese, turning to look at her.

But Genevieve waved her hand smiling "Don't be, because I'll be right here, if you change your mind."

She gave a nod to Carol and with that left.

"Well, that was quite the speech," said Therese turning back to Carol and smiling for what felt like the first time in days.

"It was long overdue," answered Carol. She kissed Therese lightly on the cheek, "right, come on then you, lets get in the car and have this trip. Are you ready?"

"You know what, I think I am now," replied Therese, her heart rate accelerating.


	25. Chapter 25

**NOTE: I am so very sorry that this is late. Life has been beyond hectic! I think things will be a bit easier soon, fingers crossed. Thank you for all reading and leaving comments/ messaging. Really really adore reading your responses and hearing from you all! Hope you are all well and enjoy :)**

Therese sat there. Her eyes glued to the window. She didn't even trust herself to look at Carol. And why? After that wonderful speech Carol gave. It wasn't like she didn't want to be near Carol. Really the opposite, but she felt embarrassed, awkward maybe too? And why? Because Carol had been so open? She had finally been as open as Therese had wished, and now, she, Therese felt somehow distant.

But she didn't want to.

She wanted to be close to this woman, in a way that was different from before. How? Even she didn't know. But then again, just because she gave that speech didn't forgive all that Carol had done before. The lies, the leaving, the cheating… was it cheating?

Therese shook her head, and brushed her forehead with her hand as Carol swam the car smoothly forward through the traffic. She was perhaps a fast driver, but always safe and controlled.

Therese's eyes linger on Carol's hands which held the steering wheel in a steady grip. It wasn't enough. Why could the damn steering wheel be steady, and their relationship be the opposite? Yet she continued to watch the woman's hands. They gave her comfort in an unexplainable way, just by looking at them she felt safe, secure.

She turned back to the window. The letter. What was that letter Carol gave Abby? Was Carol really telling the truth with what had happened between her and Abby? It was all so confusing. There was simply too much to think about. She no longer wanted to think. She wanted peace and quiet, and although she hated to admit it, exactly what Carol had said, she wanted ease.

What bothered Therese, so much, was the fact that Carol had immediately jumped into Abby's awaiting arms the moment there was just a glimmer of uncertainty. That didn't scream trust. So how could she, Therese trust Carol, if Carol was capable of doing that? What had caused Carol to do that? It hurt Therese to even consider this. How could she have? Why, why why? But then, she wasn't exactly any better, was she? Going to Genevie like that. She had just wanted to drown herself in Genevieve's all too welcoming embrace, and worst of all, she didn't stop early enough.

She closed her eyes tightly, her eyes burning. No, she could not cry. She had acted in a way that was, yes, reckless, stupid and impulsive, but which she thought would make her feel better at the time. How wrong she was, it just added to the confusion of everything. Why on earth did she think that was a good idea?

Therese blinked back the tears and sighed, running a hand through her hair. It was all too much.

"That was a big sigh," said Carol, breaking the silence, her eyes fixed on the road before her, "what are you thinking?"

What was she thinking? Again, too much. How could she say all this to Carol? Where to even start?

 _Oh, sorry Carol, I'm thinking about the total mess of our relationship and how I am beyond terrified that you will leave me again. Oh, and by the way I followed you this morning (breaking your trust again) got into a cab and tailed you all the way to your shop. No, I'm not at all mad, but please do tell me every detail of what you wrote into that letter you gave Abby, you know, your ex-lover, and the woman you cheated on me with._

Hardly something she could say.

Therese rubbed her eyes then spoke, "Too many things to put into words I think," her eyes remaining on the passing scenery.

Carol extended a hand and put it on Therese's knee momentarily.

"I know my darling, I know."

She removed her hand again, leaving the place where she had touched Therese to feel all of a sudden, very cold.

"Why not close your eyes Therese? You must be exhausted."

"I don't think I could sleep."

"Why not try? Look we will be there in a couple hours, give your eyes a rest, it has been a horrendous few days."

Therese closed her eyes, she couldn't agree more. It felt good to close her eyes. She would of course not sleep, but just to rest them was bliss, heavenly. It wasn't like she was relaxed right now, in fact, she couldn't remember the last time she felt truly at ease, but at least she was near Carol.

"Therese, darling," came a voice in her ear. She felt someone gently shaking her shoulders.

"There we go, come on, we are here now," said the voice again. She felt the hands pull at her and help her up, out of the car.

She blinked, but the world remained blurry. Her mind was a mirage of colour and motion. She couldn't think or concentrate. A cold breeze hit her, making her shudder, the hands rubbed her shoulders and lead her to somewhere bright and warm. A clatter of shoes on marble, the chime of a bell, the rush of voices. She must be in some hotel lobby. But that was all her brain could come up with. She tried to blink again, and her eyes stung against the light, yet the hands steered her forwards.

"We are nearly there Therese, then you can get into bed."

Therese nodded. Her lids yearning to be closed once again. There was the click of what must have been elevator doors opening, the whooshing sound of moving upwards and the 'ding' of the doors re-opening. The hands pushed at her back slightly.

More light, but quiet. Another door opened. Carol's voice was in her ear.

"Here we are, come, follow me."

The hand took hold of Therese's. She felt her self being lead over and then, heard the shuffling of sheets and the hands. Taking of her jacket, her skirt and blouse, then steering her into the bed. Therese head hit the pillow softly and her semi shut eyes closed completely. The noise, the colour the confusion silenced by waves of exhaustion, washing over her, sinking her deeper and deeper into the bed.

She didn't know how long she was asleep for, but she woke with a start. There was a wild yelling from somewhere, a screaming. What could it be? Someone needed help. She sat bolt upright. And looked around desperately trying to figure out the source of the scream, but it was so loud. It was here in the room. And then, only then, did she realise it was her who was screaming. The moment this realisation hit her, she stopped.

"Therese darling, Therese, it's okay, it's okay, I'm here. You are okay," said a voice over and over, the hand was rubbing her back whipping away tears off Therese's face. Tears that were falling uncontrollable fast and hard, unstoppable.

Therese gulped great lungful's of air, she was shaking and sweating. Her breathing sharp and panicky as if she had just sprinted.

Carol's face swam into vision through the tears. A look of great concern was etched into every line. It looked like she too wanted to cry. She put an arm around Therese and held her tight, stroking her hair and rubbing her back.

"It's okay, it's okay," said Carol again.

Therese didn't speak. Her head was now on Carol's shoulder and she breathed in a deep breath taking in the scent of Carol. She held it for as long as she could before exhaling, her body still uncontrollable shaking.

They sat there for a few minutes, Therese, trying to get a grip of her breathing, before Carol spoke.

"Shall I call a doctor? Are you okay?"

"I'm not ill," said Therese, only answering the first part of the question. Of course she wasn't okay.

"Just a bad dream?"

Just a bad dream? No, no, so much more. But how could she say that?

"I guess you could say that," replied Therese, whipping her eyes on the sheet.

"Therese, my darling," said Carol, pulling her face up to meet her own, "What was it?"

But that just set her off again. Why couldn't she control herself? What on earth was going on?

"You left," she sobbed.

Carol looked at her, now her face the definition of concerned. Her brow was furrowed and her eyes were looking deep into Therese's, her hands holding her face.

"I'm right here my darling."

"But you left," spluttered Therese, the tears falling again, slipping down her already wet cheeks, fast and heavy, "You chose Abby, you left with Abby. Not me. You chose her. You, you, l left."

Her chest heaved, and she desperately whipped her face once more on the sheet. Then she moved away from Carol, and clambered off the bed, she stood up and staggered to the bathroom as if wounded, clutching her chest. It hurt, like white hot razor knives stabbing in to her chest.

"Therese, Therese?" Called Carol, but Therese entered and closed the bathroom door with a little more force than anticipated.

She then turned around and slumped against the door, she couldn't reply, her breathing coming in sharp painful bursts, her hand clutching at her throbbing chest.

"Therese? Therese? Please open, please. I'm beyond worried."

"I'll be out in a minute," Therese rasped, "Please, just give me a minute."

Carol was quiet on the other side of the door. Therese sat there a minute waiting for the tears and the pain to subside a little. It took about ten minutes for her breathing to normalise, the pain in her chest however didn't seem to go, it was duller perhaps, but still prominently there.

She gave her head a little shake and with all the strength she could muster, she hoisted herself up from the floor, using the sink as a crutch. She breathed a sigh of relief and then looked in the mirror. She looked a real wreck. Her face was blotchy red, her eyes were wet and puffy and there was a defeated look in her eyes. She ran the tap and let the water flow fast and cold before splashing it on her face.

The iciness of the water had the effect she was seeking. She splashed more on, then shook her head, the coldness of her seeming to jolt any remaining dream in her away. She looked at herself for a long moment, then turned, dabbed dry her face and opened the door, back into the bedroom.

Carol was sat on the edge of the bed, her head in her hands, waiting for her. The moment that Therese took a step through the door, Carol's head jerked up and she got to her feet. She walked towards her and embraced her, pulling her tightly to her chest. Then she released Therese, her hands remaining on her arms.

"My darling, are you feeling better?"

Therese looked down. She felt sheepish, like a fool. She had just lost the plot there, big time. She hated feeling this, this, what was it? Over emotional?

"Yes, look Carol, I'm sorry," she mumbled to the floor, her eyes not meeting Carol.

"Sorry? What in heavens for? It wasn't your fault, not at all my darling. If anything, It was my fault that you had such a terrible dream. But look, Therese, my angel, I'm right here. As you see me now, I'm right here. I am not going anywhere."

Therese looked up, straight into the grey eyes. Her heart began to beat a little quicker. There was a fierce determined look in Carol's eyes.

Therese smiled a small smile, and Carol lent forward and kissed Therese softly on the lips.

"We will talk this all through tomorrow, but now you need to rest, come."

Therese, obeyed and climbed back into the bed. She yawned. How she was still tired, she had no idea. She turned on her side and felt Carol's arms wrap around her, Carol's lips pressing against her neck.

"Sleep, my angel, sleep. Nothing will hurt you. I won't let anything hurt you, not anymore."

Carol, grasped Therese's hand and Therese squeezed it back, hoping desperately that what Carol was saying would come true.


	26. Chapter 26

**Hi! So Sorry this has taken me so long to do. Really sorry! No excuse, other than life being busy and I have been writing a book. Thank you for all of your comments. Hope you all have a great weekend :)**

She awoke early. Too early, but that was a good thing, she was sure of it. Laying there, she could hear Carol's deep breaths, slow and steady, evidently sound asleep. Maybe without a care in the world, or maybe not quite, she really couldn't tell, she looked so… so peaceful and at ease with the world. How nice would it be to feel that too?

Therese forced her eyes away and as quietly as she could, she slipped out of bed. She didn't look at Carol as she pulled on her dress, grabbed her handbag and after hesitation her camera before leaving the room. It was too much. Too much, without knowing.

The concierge, behind the mahogany desk, in the empty lobby, greeted her with a half wave, disguising a yawn. She gave him a nod and existed the hotel. It was colder than she anticipated, and goose bumps erupted on her arms, protesting against the morning chill. She quickened her walk, going where? She didn't know. But moving felt good. She needed to move, she had to, for if she stopped, she would have to deal with the thoughts screaming at her in her head, something she did not want to do.

Her thumb absentmindedly fiddled with the camera around her neck as she looked around. There was no need to have it with her. What moment did she want to capture that would forever remind her of how she felt presently? If only this feeling would go. The feeling of jolting, unnerving unease. But the camera was a comfort.

She lifted the camera to her eyes and peered out. A park, a bench. Click. Click. Click. If only everything else could be as simple as pressing a button. She blinked. A woman had moved to sit on the bench. She was in an elegant maroon suit. She was very beautiful. Click. Not much older than she was actually. Click. What was she doing up at this ungodly hour? Click.

Therese looked more closely. The woman's dark curls obscured her full expression. Click. Then the woman flicked her hair. Pale skin, with deep painted lips the colour of burgundy. And… what was that? Tears? Tears that clung to her eyelashes behind sad eyes looked down. Therese felt her heart melt. This woman was hurting. It was as if Therese's pain was being reflected in to a visual representation of this woman.

Therese wanted to go to her, to comfort her. But how could she? She didn't know her from Adam. What an odd feeling? So powerful, so strong. Was it empathy? Click. Then those pained eyes were no longer looking down, but were on her. Damn. What a thing to be caught; taking a photo of someone crying.

Therese lowered the camera slowly, her eyes on the woman. The woman did not break the gaze but instead stood up of her bench and walked towards Therese. Therese Didn't move. What would be the point?

'May I?' Asked the woman, indicating to the bench.

Therese nodded. She didn't know what to say. She had half expected the woman to start yelling at her and to demand the roll of film but she didn't. Instead she sat down and pulled out a handkerchief which she used to dab at her eyes. Therese felt another mad urge to reach out and comfort this woman, this stranger.

"I'm sorry I took photos of you, I really am, it was inappropriate. I'll have them disposed of," Therese said quickly, as if in confession.

The woman inclined her head forward in recognition of the apology, yet did not reply.

"I really am sorry. Are you okay?"

Well of course she wasn't okay. What a stupid question. Why was she so nervous?

"I'm fine, thank you," then the woman turned to look at Therese, "Are you okay?"

Therese, surprised raised an eyebrow.

"Forgive me, but you yourself look out of spirits," said the woman, giving Therese a brief smile.

"Oh, oh, it's well…life I guess."

"Life, yes, life."

There was silence, where neither one of the spoke.

"Is this not an early hour to be up on a Saturday?" The woman asked.

"To be honest, I didn't even realise it is Saturday," replied Therese, looking down at her camera.

"Don't some people live for Saturdays, for the weekend?"

"I suppose they do."

"Apparently not you?"

"Apparently, not me," Therese agreed.

"In which case, the camera, I assume is part of your career and an enjoyment both week and weekend."

"I suppose it is."

"What is it you like so much about it?"

An odd question from a stranger, but Therese thought. What was it? What really was it that she enjoyed so much about it. She bit her lip.

"I guess it's both the simplicity and the complexity of it, interwoven."

"I think you'll have to explain that one."

Therese smiled, "Well, one simple click, one flash and that's it. A moment, a feeling a fleeting pleasure, a harrowing sadness, anything, captured in one click. But to get that one click, there is so much to consider and not to consider." She smiled, feeling her heart beat a little faster, "I guess that is not really an answer, is it?"

"A good an answer as I have heard?"

Therese turned, an eyebrow raised. "And do you ask that question regularly?"

"Occasionally."

The woman adverted her eyes down and opened her handbag then moving it forward so that Therese could see, showed her a camera that lay within.

"I'm a photographer too," she said smiling, she then held out her hand "Leonora Martin."

Therese took her hand.

"Therese Belivet,"

"A pleasure," said Leonora "Belivet…Belivet"

It looked as if Leonora was tasting something in her mouth, swirling it around, deciding what to make of it. Then the woman clicked her fingers.

"I have seen that name, yes, it's a newspaper you work for, isn't it? The Journal?"

"Close, The Times. The New York Times."

Leonara let out a small whistle. "Impressive, very impressive. I've seen your work, it's good very good. So, what brings you here? I take it you are visiting then?"

"Yes, yes I am."

"For how long?"

"Oh, I, I don't really know yet," she replied, feeling, what? Self-conscious, unsure? She cleared her throat. "And you? Do you live and work here?" she asked..

"Oh yes, I live here."

But she didn't immediately answer the second part of the question. Instead she pushed her hand further into her bag and pulled out a flyer, which she passed to Therese.

Therese looked down at it. It was advertising an exhibition.

"I'm a struggling artist," said Leonora, with a coy smile, "isn't that the thing these days?"

"I suppose it is," said Therese, who couldn't help but smile.

She flicked open the flyer and scanned it.

"You should come by, I have the opening tonight at six."

"I would love to," said Therese without hesitation, then stopped.

Was this not odd to accept an invitation to a party by someone she had just met. And what about Carol? What would she say.

Perhaps something had shown up on her face for Leonara then added. "You may of course bring a plus one, a husband, boyfriend?"

"More a… friend."

"Well Therese, I look forward to seeing you later with this…friend."

Leonora stood up, smiling. Could she possibly guess? No, how could she?

"I must say, this is not usually how I invite people to my private views, but it has been a real pleasure to meet you Therese."

She held out her hand. Therese took it. It was warm and soft. Was it her or was the hand shake longer than most?

"Till later then, six o'clock, don't forget," and with a little wave, she left.

Therese remained on the bench. Lost in thought. But she had to admit, she felt much better now than she had an hour ago.

It was getting lighter now and more people were walking around outside, but Therese stayed where she was letting the minutes slip by, holding onto the leaflet and thinking. It wasn't until she heard her name did she look up.

"Therese, thank god. Where on earth have you been?"

It was Carol. She looked very anxious. Therese immediately felt bad, it wasn't fair to Carol.

"I didn't want to disturb you."

It surprised her how cold her own voice was. She looked down at Carol's feet.

"Would a note have been so damn difficult Therese? Really, I thought you had run away."

Carol sat down next to Therese and put a hand on her shoulder.

"You had me so worried."

Therese didn't look up.

"I needed some air."

"I can see that," replied Carol, softly. "What's this you have here?" she asked and Therese looked up to see Carol indicating to the flyer.

"Oh, I, I met someone, a photographer who is having a private view tonight, she asked if I wanted to come. If we wanted to come, so I said yes."

Why did she feel guilty?

"Well you have been busy now, haven't you," said Carol, taking the flyer and having a look. "Of course we can go if you want. I'm sure you'll enjoy it. But now, let us go and have breakfast and maybe talk?"

Therese nodded and still not looking at Carol, stood up.


	27. Chapter 27

**Hello! Sorry I have been out of the loop for a while, hope you are all well! Happy Valentine's Day :) And thank you for reading and your comments!**

The café was hot and steamy. The flecks of pasty stuck to the lipstick on her lips. But Therese didn't care, she took another bite, wiped my mouth with her napkin and took a drink of coffee. It was hot and strong, so she took another. Carol, opposite had not touched her pastry, instead Therese could feel Carol's eyes on her. She looked down at her plate trying to ignore the intense look she knew she was receiving.

"I think it should be nice today," said Therese, casting a glance outside at the busing street. The sun was up now and growing higher and people were busy bustling around caring out their weekend chores.

"I think you are right," answered Carol, in a soft voice.

"The light, it really is beautiful."

"I suppose it is."

Silence.

Therese ate the last of her croissant. She didn't dare look up at Carol. Instead she fiddled with the last pieces of pastry scattered on her plate. After having wanted to have this chat for so long, she now wanted to prolong the moment when it would have to come for a lifetime. Her heart was beating a little too quickly for comfort. She would like to have blamed that on the coffee, but she knew better.

"Therese."

Therese, momentarily closed her eyes. That tone, that soft yet commanding tone said it all, Carol wanted to talk. Therese picked up her coffee cup and took another drink, coming to almost the dregs of the cup. Therese looked up.

"You should eat Carol, otherwise you'll be starved."

Therese smiled a little; saying she was 'starved' was always something Carol would say. Carol raised her eyebrow a fraction of an inch – clearly unimpressed. Therese's heart rate increased. So, what? Why did it always have to be on Carol's terms?

Without taking her eyes of Therese, Carol picked up her croissant and look a bite chewed with delicacy and elegance and swallowed, without one crumb sticking to her lips. How did she do it?

Therese looked down at her greasy fingers while Carol ate. What on earth was she going to say? That she was angry, insecure, sad all at the same time? That she was both furious with Carol and in love with her? That she wanted to be with her yet was exhausted with all the drama? She just didn't know.

"Maybe a walk would be good," suggested Therese after a few minutes.

"A walk and a talk?" Asked Carol.

"Yes, yes both."

Carol nodded and stood up. She wrapped her coat around her and gestured to the door. Therese rose to her feet and followed. The air was still cool, as they left the café but the sun was growing warmer. They walked together along the busy high street and meandered into the square Therese had been in earlier. Neither of them spoke. How to start this conversation?

"Last night – you scared me Therese," said Carol, casting her a quick glance. Again, her voice was soft, it wasn't an angry tone, more of one of concerned.

Therese swallowed. "Look Carol, I am sorry. I think things just got all too much for me," said Therese, eyes ahead on the leafy path.

"What will make it better?"

Therese paused. Did she dare say it? But she had to. She took a deep breath.

"What was in the letter you gave to Abby."

Carol stopped – she stared at Therese, her eyes wide. Therese took another breath and continued, deciding to look at the tree swaying in the breeze rather than look at Carol.

"Yesterday, before you left, I followed you – I know I shouldn't have but I did. I saw you go to the furniture shop, I saw you give Abby a letter. I know I shouldn't have, but I did."

"You mean you were stalking me?"

Yes, she was definitely annoyed. There was no point denying it.

"Well I would say stalking is a bit of a strong word but yes. I followed you."

Carol sighed, shook her head and continued walking. Therese did too. She cast Carol a glance. It was hard to tell what was going on in her mind.

"Are you angry?" Therese asked at last.

"No, not angry, more… disappointed."

"Oh, great Carol, you know that's worse," replied Therese, running a hand through her hair.

Carol shook her head. She closed her eyes momentarily. A golden leaf got caught in her hair and Therese pulled it out carefully, waiting for a response. Carol opened her eyes.

"Therese, I am disappointed because I can't blame you for doing that. I understand why you did it. I don't like it one bit, not at all and yet I understand."

That was unexpected. Therese turned to look at Carol. Clearly her face must have shown a sense of surprise for Carol let out a little laugh.

"I am not completely unreasonable Therese," she said shooting Therese her favourite smile. "So, you followed me, saw me give a letter to Abby, is that right?"

Therese nodded.

"Well, well, well, my little spy. If your photography career doesn't work out at least we have found another profession for you."

Therese could hear the familiar laughter in her voice. It was so pleasant, so lovely. It felt like it had been an age since she had heard Carol speak in a light-hearted manner that she too smiled.

"Well, I thought the same exactly," replied Therese blushing, then in a more serious voice, "what was in the letter."

Carol's smile faded. She looked around the park and gestured at a bench. Therese followed and they sat, looking at the bye passers laughing and strolling by with ease – without a care in the world? Maybe.

"That letter – it said that we needed to talk when I came back. I said in the letter that Abby and I needed to draw some clear boundaries. That I love her, that I always will love her, but that I am not in love with her. I said that I really want to make things work with you and until you and I are on a more stable page, maybe I shouldn't see Abby for a while."

Carol looked down at her hands, then up at Therese. There were tears in her eyes.

"I acted in a way that was rash Therese. I took the first opportunity I could to doubt you and I ran with it. It is no excuse but I did that because I am scared. My whole life I have felt in control of what I do, how I feel and how I act. With you, I am not. You make me feel things I have never felt in my life, you make me feel alive in a way that is addictive and dangerous. I feel with you, one wrong move and my world could shatter. I have never felt more empowered or more vulnerable and it frightens me Therese, it really frightens me."

She took another breath and looked straight before her.

"I think when I saw you and Dannie, something snapped in me. It was as if my world were about to crumble and I had to take some control so I turned to Abby. It was wrong, yet it was the only thing that made me feel more secure. It was foolish and it was a childish way to act."

A tear trickled down her cheek and she quickly dabbed it away.

"When I am with you – I feel like a new person. You are the most frustrating, person because I never really fully know what you are thinking – you are guarded and a mystery yet open and unpredictable. You keep me alert; you make me question things in a good way. I thought maybe when we lived together, I would be able to once again feel in control, yet I realise now that is not how this relationship will work. It is something I need to work on, something that I want to work on, if you will let me."

Therese didn't reply. She had rarely heard Carol express her feelings in such a fluent and honest way. In truth, she didn't know what to say. She opened her mouth but no words came out.

"Look Therese," continued Carol, "I have my flaws, many of them and I know this situation with Abby and Harge is unideal. Frankly you would be better off without me, but the more I think about it, the more I can't think of a world without you. You fill my world with colour when it was once grey. You make me smile and laugh like a schoolgirl. And I love you. Even when you are being erratic and difficult. I love you when you sleep, when you are clicking away at that camera of yours, when you are thinking, talking, arguing and laughing. I want you in my life for good. I don't want to be without you."

"Oh Carol," said Therese, in a croaky voice, as she too could feel the tears silently running down her cheeks, but Carol put up a hand.

"But Therese, you need to know this because I think what scares me so much is that you are so young. What am I taking away from your life with you being with me? The opportunity to have children? A family? You had such a difficult childhood but you could have a wonderful family of your own if it wasn't for me. Part of me feels as if I am holding you back. And I don't want to hold you back. Yet If this is going to work, I need full commitment."

"Carol, Carol, I don't want children now, I haven't even thought about it-"

But Carol cut her off.

"Exactly, you haven't even thought about that. But what about in a few years, or five or ten. You may very well want children."

Therese thought about this. Yes, there was some truth in this, maybe she would one day.

"I have Rindy, and she is the most precious gift in life. I couldn't imagine my life without her," Said Carol, "You know that very well I hurt you so much over Rindy."

Therese took a deep breath and looked at Carol, she touched her hand making Carol turn to look at her too.

"Carol, I can't imagine my life without you. I won't deny that maybe one day I would like children. But right now, imagining a life without you is impossible. If I cannot have children well fine – as long as I have you."

Carol sat in silence.

"Therese, I think I need to know that this, our relationship is more permanent. I have a fear you will one day leave me too. I need to know that you won't."

Therese nodded.

"I agree Carol, I think we both need that. The question is how?"


End file.
